How to Add "Mom" to Your Resume?

My professor brought something up in class the other night that really put into words how I've been feeling for quite awhile but couldn't articulate.  The discussion was basically about how our society teaches us mixed gender messages and then expects us to be successful in relationships.

Basically, little boys are taught how to be manly, tough, strong, and independent while little girls are taught how to be caregivers.  We tell little girls it's okay to cry and be in touch with their emotions giving them dolls and playing "house" with them, and then when they start developing into women, we tell them they must now be strong, independent and ask them about their career goals.  Does this seem messed up to you?

This results in really confused young women, not to mention the fact that if and when they do get married, if both the man and the woman are supposed to be self-reliant, successful and dedicated to their careers.... who is going to raise the kids?

Is the woman going to take care of the house, the husband, the kids, and keep adding to her resume?  How do you be the ultimate caregiver and be that strong, independent, career woman?  Our self-absorbed western society is a really complicated system.

I completely resonate with this, and I know a lot of women who can relate.  I'm speaking in blanket stereotypes for the most part here, but a large majority of women have the innate desire to plant themselves, nest, take care of their husbands and bust out a few little rug rats.  And these desires do start when we're young and playing barbies with the neighbor girls.  High schoolers today, instead of being encouraged to continue in the art of caregiving and taking care of a home and family, are asked where they are going to college and what they are going to make of themselves in terms of a career.  I don't know where or how you grew up, but in my family it was just sort of assumed that I was going to college.  It didn't really feel like a choice.  And when asked what my major was and what I "wanted to be" when I grew up, I felt like I needed to have some smart answer to impress people, because if I just said I wanted to be the best mom and wife I could be, somehow that wouldn't be good enough.  (For the record, I never did find that "smart answer" because with my set of gifts and talents I couldn't justifiably squeeze myself into the high-paying profession box but this is just the way it felt as an 18 year old ;-)).

No, I'm not having an identity crisis, and no there's nothing wrong with going to college and making a better life for yourself.  I'm just being challenged right now in the way that I look at the world and the society I live in, and I think that we need to be careful in raising this upcoming generation and projecting our "smart" ideas of what we think success is onto them.  The more advanced the world becomes, the more confusing life is getting... and I think we need to start addressing these mixed gender signals right away.

What do you think?  Can you relate to this?  What messages were you given when you were younger?  How did your family of origin shape your viewpoints on career development vs. family?

Family Reunion

We went to a Valentine's Day themed family reunion last weekend.  Here are two quick snapshots.  The first one is our adorable nephew Colin playing with Scott's cheeks and the second is of my sister in law Christie and I having some fun with some sexy wax lips!!  HOT.

Down with the Sickness

It's crazy what a couple of trips to the vet and a sick animal can do to my stress level and my checking account.  

Mr. Sam is sick....  He started acting weird last week when he stopped eating (usually swallows most of his dish whole in about 2.5 seconds) and being his usual perky self (he's a 1 year old pup... energy level: abundant).  My normal happy loveable teddy bear has turned into a lethargic unmoveable mass of saddness on my floor.  

We paid $200 some dollars to do a blood test that was inconclusive... so just shelled out another $130 today to pay for a Valley Fever test which would mean he would then be on meds for anywhere from 6 mo-1 year.  We'll find out the results of the test in 2-5 days.

If it's not that, it's very possible that he could have ate a tennis ball, river rocks, or some other large foreign object that I have not found missing in my house yet.  So that would require x-rays, possible surgery, and who knows what else.  Why can't he just tell us what's wrong?  And how can vets be so expensive?  I feel really bad for Sam... and am also wondering how vets can charge so much. 

Oh, Sam.... (sigh).

Tell It Like It Is

My grandma is 95. She doesn't see the need to filter what she says anymore. Nor does she understand my generation. She's been around the block a few times and just calls the world as she sees it. Here is what I learned tonight.

She likes my hair straight. It looks good. Apparently it looks dreadful when I curl it. She also likes it when I pin it back with a clip so she can see my eyes. She wonders why I have hair near my eyes (side bangs).

She likes my husband even though she can never remember his name. She doesn't understand why he didn't come to dinner tonight (it was a last minute thing and he had other plans). She then came to the conclusion that, well, we spend enough time together, so we probably don't need to be together all the time.

Direct quote, "You've been married for SO LONG. Don't you want to see results?? You've been working for too long. Don't you have enough money saved up so you can stay home? If you have too many kids, they can always sleep in the kitchen. I only have a few years left and I think you need to start a family."

Thanks, Besta. Always so helpful.:)

My Little Nephew!!

This is my first nephew, little Mr. Colin Van Sande!!! Isn't he the cutest!?! Click over to Kelly's blog, The Van Sande Happenings for more pictures!