When I grow up

I spend a lot of time thinking about "what I want to be when I grow up."  Society starts us young.  When we are in junior high, we take career tests and have career day to figure out what job fits who we are and what do we want to do with our lives.  When we enter high school, it's a whole new world.  Suddenly teachers start saying, "I have to prepare you for when you get into the real world.  College is going to be much harder so you'll thank me later."  When you're a sophomore, suddenly fliers and posters start popping up everywhere screaming that you need to hurry and start getting prepared for your practice SAT or ACT.  Then junior year comes and you better be prepared for actually preparing for senior year.  After all, there's thinking about where you want to go to college which inevitably forces you to pick a major which forces you to try and think about what you want to do with the rest of your life.  How many people can answer that question at 17 or 18?  I wished I was like the friend who was just so sure and positive that she wanted to be a 1st grade teacher since the ripe age of 10.  And then there's me.  And now that I'm 23... and I still don't know?  Just thinking about it gives me a headache.  Do I want to own my own coffee shop?  Be a psychologist? Run a music studio? Be a worship leader? Be a high school teacher? Teach college psychology courses?  Maybe I should go back to music therapy?  Gosh, maybe I'm supposed to be a mom.  All of these ideas have run through my head throughout the course of the past 4-5 years.  And while I still don't know, my dad said something to me on Wednesday that makes a whole lot of sense and this is the conclusion I'm coming to.

Maybe it shouldn't be that hard.  Maybe if God wanted me to figure it out, he would put me on the right path, open those doors, and plant me where I'm supposed to be.  Maybe I'm supposed to stop thinking about searching for that one magical path I think I'm supposed to be on and just live.  Maybe I'm supposed to study the smiles of the people that I see every day and live every moment for God.  Maybe I'm supposed to travel, to study people, to focus on how best I can love my life.  I want to love my husband as much as I possibly can.  I want to play with my pup every day and enjoy teaching her new tricks.  I want to lay on my couch and look at at the ceiling thanking God for how much he has blessed me with the amazing house he gave us.  I want to study my walls and how I can decorate them in the cutest way possible.  I want to spend time with my family and best friends and love the fact that I can invest in such awesome relationships every day.  I want to focus on my inner joy and how I can best let it bubble out of me like a brook running and tripping over large rocks on it's way to the river.  Wow... I just got a little carried away.  But anyway, that sounds so incredibly exciting compared to worrying about a career and what I'm supposed to "do with the rest of my life" and what "career would best fit my personality."  Maybe we're not all built for careers.  Maybe "what I want to be when I grow up" is just the best person that I can possibly be for God, for my friends, and for my family.