A Predictable Blog on Thanksgiving? Sorry, It's Not My Fault...

Our pastor recently challenged us to be grateful for at least one thing every day this week. The message wasn't on Thanksgiving, as predictable as that would have been, but just happened to include a few verses in which the Apostle Paul mentions the concept of thanksgiving (Colossians 3:15-17). Even beyond that, for weeks now I've felt inextricably drawn toward a greater spirit of gratitude. God has blessed me so much beyond what I deserve, and He's been making that quite clear.

Even on my worst day at work, I have a job.
Even when something breaks on my house, I have a roof over my head.
Even when the check engine light comes on in my car, I have transportation.
Even when my clothes wear out, I have still more hanging in my closet.
Even when Mint.com e-mails me telling me a balance is low or a bill is due, I have enough to live comfortably.
Even when I have a disagreement with my wife, I have someone who still loves me and isn't going anywhere.
Even when my back hurts and plagues me throughout the day, I have a (mostly) healthy body.
Even when my dogs annoy the crap out of me, I have two companions to keep me company as I work from home so I don't go insane.
Even when I make mistakes, I have grace.
Even when I do the wrong thing, I have forgiveness.
Even when I was still a sinner, I have Christ.

It's pathetic that we have to have a holiday to remind us to be thankful. I should wake up EVERY DAY with the immediate awareness that I owe my life to someone else greater than me. The breath in my lungs is a gift, and the things at my disposal have been given for a purpose. And that purpose is bigger than me. I am inexplicably thankful to God that the Holy Spirit has been moving in my heart for weeks to get me to the point where I can feel this much gratitude. For too long I lived with a sense of entitlement, like I had earned any of this. By my hard work, or the sweat on my brow, I did it. What a fool.

If you look someone in the eyes who will eat their next meal only because of the money you just gave them, you see true thankfulness. Because the fact is, that guy needs that $5 more than I do, the Phoenix Rescue Mission needs that donation more than I do, the church benevolence fund needs my money more than I do. This world is full of hurting, broken people, and I too was broken. But I've been made whole again. God has blessed me with abundant life and that abundance wasn't so that I could live up in my own little world, keeping everyone else at arms length. The abundance given to me was so that I, in turn, can give to others.

1 Corinthians 1:5 says: "For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." Even if I suffer in this life, God won't waste that suffering. Because there will always be someone who has suffered worse than me who needs comforting. Comfort that I can give. And without first having a spirit of gratitude, without first being thankful, we'll never be able to recognize that fact and bring comfort to others in need.

-Scott

P.S. And please don't take this the wrong way. I don't have it all figured out, and I'm not always as gracious and generous as I should be. I'm still a work in progress... "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord. For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends."

Happy 3 Year Anniversary!

 

Click on the collage above to make it larger and see it better.

This collage has some of my favorite images from this past year of marriage.  It was fun to look back over these pictures and remember some of the fun things we have done this year.  

Mr. Van Sande, you are the most amazing husband, best friend, partner, and soul mate... I could not imagine my life without you!  Thank you for blessing my life more than I could possibly dream.  You have my whole heart, and 110% of my respect and admiration.  I can't wait to celebrate 75 more amazing years of marriage with you (because yes, we are both going to live to be 100 together!!).

How to Add "Mom" to Your Resume?

My professor brought something up in class the other night that really put into words how I've been feeling for quite awhile but couldn't articulate.  The discussion was basically about how our society teaches us mixed gender messages and then expects us to be successful in relationships.

Basically, little boys are taught how to be manly, tough, strong, and independent while little girls are taught how to be caregivers.  We tell little girls it's okay to cry and be in touch with their emotions giving them dolls and playing "house" with them, and then when they start developing into women, we tell them they must now be strong, independent and ask them about their career goals.  Does this seem messed up to you?

This results in really confused young women, not to mention the fact that if and when they do get married, if both the man and the woman are supposed to be self-reliant, successful and dedicated to their careers.... who is going to raise the kids?

Is the woman going to take care of the house, the husband, the kids, and keep adding to her resume?  How do you be the ultimate caregiver and be that strong, independent, career woman?  Our self-absorbed western society is a really complicated system.

I completely resonate with this, and I know a lot of women who can relate.  I'm speaking in blanket stereotypes for the most part here, but a large majority of women have the innate desire to plant themselves, nest, take care of their husbands and bust out a few little rug rats.  And these desires do start when we're young and playing barbies with the neighbor girls.  High schoolers today, instead of being encouraged to continue in the art of caregiving and taking care of a home and family, are asked where they are going to college and what they are going to make of themselves in terms of a career.  I don't know where or how you grew up, but in my family it was just sort of assumed that I was going to college.  It didn't really feel like a choice.  And when asked what my major was and what I "wanted to be" when I grew up, I felt like I needed to have some smart answer to impress people, because if I just said I wanted to be the best mom and wife I could be, somehow that wouldn't be good enough.  (For the record, I never did find that "smart answer" because with my set of gifts and talents I couldn't justifiably squeeze myself into the high-paying profession box but this is just the way it felt as an 18 year old ;-)).

No, I'm not having an identity crisis, and no there's nothing wrong with going to college and making a better life for yourself.  I'm just being challenged right now in the way that I look at the world and the society I live in, and I think that we need to be careful in raising this upcoming generation and projecting our "smart" ideas of what we think success is onto them.  The more advanced the world becomes, the more confusing life is getting... and I think we need to start addressing these mixed gender signals right away.

What do you think?  Can you relate to this?  What messages were you given when you were younger?  How did your family of origin shape your viewpoints on career development vs. family?

How Do We Tumble Down a Hill?

I found a document buried in the archives of my computer hard drive, and in it a quote that I originally intended to write a blog about. However, on further reflection, I think the original author already said enough. So I'll just leave it at that...

"How do we tumble down a hill? A foot placed incautiously on an unsteady rock or loosened turf, an ankle twisted or a knee buckled, and all of the sudden we are gone, our body lost to our own control until we find ourselves sprawled in indignity at the bottom.

So it seems apt indeed to speak of the Fall. For sin, too, must always start with but a single misstep, and suddenly we are hurtling toward some uncertain stopping point. All that is sure in the descent is that we will arrive sullied and bruised and unable to regain our former place without hard effort." -Anna Frith

Source: Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks

-Scott