Since I happened to be in the one percent of the American population that didn't choose to give birth in a hospital (I went to a birth center), I was met with questions/remarks such as.. 1) Is that even safe? 2) Whyyyyyy would you do that?? 3) I just don't understand why you wouldn't get an epidural? You're not going to win some kind of medal or something!!
(**Quick sidenote: Can we just talk about that last one for a quick second though? This is not what this post is about, but I can't help it. That one just irks me. I'm passionate about birth and I can't help it. Plus, this is my blog and I get to do long sidenote vents when and where I want. But honestly?? I didn't give birth without drugs because I wanted to be cool, to try and be superwoman, or because I wanted to just see if I could do it for fun. Some women may find the research regarding epidurals and their effects on breastfeeding appealing... or others may be interested in the plethora of convincing research effects such as a higher incidence in low blood pressure or fever, a longer pushing stage, an increase in instrumental delivery, or the increased chances of needing more synthetic drugs due to a slowed down labor... but anyway! Rant over.)
That aside, I felt like people thought I was crazy... or at least some crunchy hippy that likes organic foods, yoga, cloth diapers, and sometimes co-sleeps. Oh wait... that is me. Well, label me as you must. Just go with me here for a second. I'm growing. I'm learning. And at first, it was hard for me to be met with so many that didn't understand something that I was so passionate about. I happen to think that waterbirth is AWESOME? So what? :-) Anyway... a little at a time, I'm starting to realize that the whole world of parenting is filled with these hot topics that everyone seems to disagree on.
For example, I recently saw this ad...
WOAH! Like I said... people are really passionate about some of these issues! I have a few things to say about this very controversial ad... but that is not the point of THIS post haha.
The point of THIS post, is that I'm starting to become more confident in my decisions, and realizing that part of parenting is doing the research, and then doing what is right for you and your family. I mean, I know this seems like common sense, but when you are met face to face with people who adamantly disagree with you and make you feel like you're doing something wrong, it's hard to be confident sometimes. And just like anything in life, there are lots of parenting issues that are hot topics. Vaccinations? Spanking? Basically, these issues result in me spending hours researching on the internet, talking to as many people as I can about what they do and why they do it, and then spending A LOT of time thinking, analyzing, more thinking, pondering, and then doing some over-thinking!!
But when it comes down to it, Scott and I get to make the shots. We get to decide what's right for us, and what's right for Miss K. It's a tremendous amount of responsibility... it's called PARENTING. And I can already tell ya, it's changing me for the better!
Having to make these big decisions for an innocent little child can be overwhelming, but I feel like it's making me a more confident person. I'm actually starting to enjoy the controversial issues and be amused by them, even if others think I'm crazy. At the end of the day, I make decisions based on what is right for me and my child in my situation. Welcome to the world of parenting!
You are my hero. Toughest, but most rewarding job ever, isn't it? I, too, have gotten over the fact that people may think I'm a weird, organic food eatin', cloth diapering, exclusively breatfeeding, co-sleeping mama. I'm not out to impress people with my mad parenting skills, I've been given the blessing to raise a child to love Jesus and serve His world- and we're all doing it the best way we know how.
ReplyDeleteThis blessed me to pieces. Thank you!
This is interesting. I don't get this feeling much in Portland, but I did when I lived in CA (and still now from Californians). I think people (other moms) can get upset about "alternative" birthing/parenting methods because they feel like you are challenging their own methods or suggesting that you are better than they are. And it is not practical for a working mother to exclusively breastfeed, cloth diaper, rock their child to sleep, etc. and they may feel guilty about it. I used to worry about my parenting style, but I have found that even when I start to listen to the masses, I always come back to what I think/know is best for my child, and it is apparent in her behavior towards me in return. Anyways, I think you are doing a great job! You daughter is a cutie!
ReplyDeleteAllysa, thank you. I completely agree. It's so wonderful connect with other moms who are experiencing the same things--I always appreciate your posts so much.
ReplyDeleteKirsten, good insight. And I think you're totally right on!! People feel challenged, so they then get defensive--which is where the comments come from. And interesting what you said about the demographic and how it might depend on where you live. Phoenix is very similar to the OC in a lot of ways!! You're right. We just have to listen to our intuition and to God and we will find what is best for us regardless of what other people think/say!
i so agree with you... ALWAYS do things how you want. It IS your family and child. And as my mom always says. You as the mother will always know best.
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