As I am still charting the new waters of mommyville, I would like to post some reflections on this new path my life has taken. I want to look back on these early days and remember what it felt like to be a brand new mom. And for all you new preggos out there that will have a little one soon, maybe you will be interested to know some of what it feels like. Basically, my life has turned completely upside down, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't know left from right, or up from down, yet every day I am filled with a joy I have never known. The love I feel is unlike any other, and my life has a new meaning. When people said that a mother's love is different kind of love, I had trouble understanding what that meant, or how it would feel. It is so different from a familial love, or a romantic love. How could I possibly begin to describe the feelings that bubble up inside of me each time she flashes me with that huge grin? Or the way she looks up at me when she is nursing staring, lovingly into my eyes, an innocence so pure, knowing no sense of time? When I cuddle her warm little body up against mine, my heart often feels as if it might burst. This new kind of love knows no limitations.
All the while, the days seem to be speeding up, and the days blurring together. How do I like being a stay at home mom? Well, I'm not used to it yet, and I'm confused by it. I'll describe it physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. My body is physically more out of shape and more flabby then it's ever been which results in feeling totally out of shape and lethargic. At the same time, I am so happy and filled with joy, every day feels like the weekend. My life has a renewed sense of purpose, and I can say without a doubt that I absolutely LOVE my life. Spiritually, I am starting to feel dry, as all of a sudden I have the attention span of a 2 year old. Whether that is due to never feeling fully rested, or because any second I get to myself I want to bask in the solitude and do absolutely nothing, I am unsure. Mentally, I am currently doing okay as I check out books from the library, keep busy with friends and play dates, and my husband keeps me in check.
2012 holds new challenges. I am posting them here to not only be able to record my new journey, but to help keep myself accountable. So if you are someone who reads my blog and I see you on a regular basis, feel free to ask me how these things are going!
Goals for 2012
1) Physically, I just started the Weight Watchers for nursing moms plan and am working on getting back to my pre-baby weight by August losing approximately 1 lb per week.
2) Spiritually, I am committing to read the new daily devotional that was given to us by our worship leader at church every day, as well as the corresponding verses that go with it. I also want to work on praying more throughout the day, and praying with Scott on a daily basis as well.
3) Mentally, school starts back up on January 9th, so I will definitely be challenged with homework and papers all too soon! I am really looking forward to being back in the classroom though, and the learning and class discussions that help me to expand on my passions and fuel for life. I have to admit though, I'm pretty nervous about how I am going to balance class, reading, and homework with this new little bundle that takes so much of my time! However, I am not going to worry about it, because God is always challenging me to trust Him with this stuff, and He has told me that not only can I not worry about it since I haven't even tried it yet, but secondly, I am not allowed to worry about it because that would mean I'm not really trusting Him!! :) So, my goal is to balance the baby and the school work, and not STRESS, but trust God with all of it.
What are your goals for 2012??? Are you one of those people that doesn't make goals because you're afraid of failing? No matter where you are in your life, and whether you like new years resolutions or not, I challenge you to make at least one goal for 2012 and either post it in the comments section, on facebook, or tell someone close to you!! :) That's how we grow right!? :)
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
My Daughter's Hands
Does the story below make you cry too? Or am I just a post-partum mess????? I read this as I sat nursing baby K to sleep. I often stare at her precious, dimpled little hands in awe and wonder. I praise God for giving me such a beautiful child, and I pray blessings over her. This story made me think a little bit more in detail about those tiny hands of hers, and made me want to savor each precious moment I get to rock her to sleep even more.
My Daughter's Hands
by Shannon Lowe - taken from Chicken Soup for the New Mom's Soul
My daughter Miriam had a cold and was having trouble sleeping, so tonight I had the distinct pleasure of rocking her--for a long, long time--to sleep. We sat there in her dark room, the rocking chair creaking slightly, her slow, even breaths a little raspy from her cold. Her head was nuzzled into my neck, and her right hand softly gripped the fabric of my shirt on my chest.
Miriam's hand. It's a plump little thing, dimpled, smooth, and creamy white. I've always been fascinated by my children's hands, but tonight as I looked at Miriam's, I was overwhelmed with happiness, and a little sadness, to think of where those hands will travel. Tonight they're flawless little hands, untested by life's challenges and inexperienced in its joys. But where will those little hands go tomorrow, and the next day and the next?
One day soon those little hands will let go of mine as she takes her first step.
They'll grasp a pencil as she clumsily but surely learns to write.
They'll grip bicycle handlebars with a mix of joy and horror as her daddy runs behind her holding on, almost ready to let go.
In her teenage years those hands will wipe away many adolescent tears and slam many doors, but maybe, if I play my cards right, they'll still reach out for mine every now and then.
They'll pack her belongings as she leaves home. And they'll open our front door again as she comes back to visit. Often, if she knows what's good for her.
How I pray those precious hands spend more time spread open in joy, rather than clenched in anguish. But wherever they travel, I hope they're often clasped in prayer. I hope they're helpful hands, and merciful ones, and I hope they always have many, many other hands to grab onto.
They'll wear a diamond from a handsome young man, and they'll loosely hold her father's tuxedoed arm, eager to reach out for her future at the end of the aisle.
Those hands will grasp the bedsheets in pain as she fights to deliver her child, and they'll tremble in joy when she holds him or her for the first time. They'll feel many little foreheads, apply many Band-Aids, and hold open many books. And then, one night, she'll rock that baby to sleep, and she'll stare in bittersweet wonder at its little hands.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Happy 2 Months to Baby K!
We are so blessed to have baby K with us this Christmas. Best Christmas gift ever! She is a blessing and a joy, and we could not imagine life without her.
Things to remember this month:
Likes
- Dressing her up in ridiculously cute little girly outfits
- Nursing her and gazing into her beautiful blue eyes
- Watching her change daily
- Listening to her learn to make new noises and "baby talk"
- Being greeted with big adorable grins
- Loving how much she is comforted by me
- Being a mommy
- Cuddling with my little family in bed
- Bath time!
Dislikes
- Feeling tired all the time
- Middle of the night feedings (usually 2 times each night)
- Wishing I was back into my normal clothes
- Poopy diaper blow outs
Here are some photos of Baby K to celebrate December!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
The World of Parenting
Confession. Some of my posts about natural childbirth (here, here, and here) were a bit defensive. If you haven't noticed, how one chooses to give birth can be a bit controversial. Drugs or no drugs? Hospital or home birth? Birth center? What's a birth center??
Since I happened to be in the one percent of the American population that didn't choose to give birth in a hospital (I went to a birth center), I was met with questions/remarks such as.. 1) Is that even safe? 2) Whyyyyyy would you do that?? 3) I just don't understand why you wouldn't get an epidural? You're not going to win some kind of medal or something!!
(**Quick sidenote: Can we just talk about that last one for a quick second though? This is not what this post is about, but I can't help it. That one just irks me. I'm passionate about birth and I can't help it. Plus, this is my blog and I get to do long sidenote vents when and where I want. But honestly?? I didn't give birth without drugs because I wanted to be cool, to try and be superwoman, or because I wanted to just see if I could do it for fun. Some women may find the research regarding epidurals and their effects on breastfeeding appealing... or others may be interested in the plethora of convincing research effects such as a higher incidence in low blood pressure or fever, a longer pushing stage, an increase in instrumental delivery, or the increased chances of needing more synthetic drugs due to a slowed down labor... but anyway! Rant over.)
That aside, I felt like people thought I was crazy... or at least some crunchy hippy that likes organic foods, yoga, cloth diapers, and sometimes co-sleeps. Oh wait... that is me. Well, label me as you must. Just go with me here for a second. I'm growing. I'm learning. And at first, it was hard for me to be met with so many that didn't understand something that I was so passionate about. I happen to think that waterbirth is AWESOME? So what? :-) Anyway... a little at a time, I'm starting to realize that the whole world of parenting is filled with these hot topics that everyone seems to disagree on.
For example, I recently saw this ad...
WOAH! Like I said... people are really passionate about some of these issues! I have a few things to say about this very controversial ad... but that is not the point of THIS post haha.
The point of THIS post, is that I'm starting to become more confident in my decisions, and realizing that part of parenting is doing the research, and then doing what is right for you and your family. I mean, I know this seems like common sense, but when you are met face to face with people who adamantly disagree with you and make you feel like you're doing something wrong, it's hard to be confident sometimes. And just like anything in life, there are lots of parenting issues that are hot topics. Vaccinations? Spanking? Basically, these issues result in me spending hours researching on the internet, talking to as many people as I can about what they do and why they do it, and then spending A LOT of time thinking, analyzing, more thinking, pondering, and then doing some over-thinking!!
But when it comes down to it, Scott and I get to make the shots. We get to decide what's right for us, and what's right for Miss K. It's a tremendous amount of responsibility... it's called PARENTING. And I can already tell ya, it's changing me for the better!
Having to make these big decisions for an innocent little child can be overwhelming, but I feel like it's making me a more confident person. I'm actually starting to enjoy the controversial issues and be amused by them, even if others think I'm crazy. At the end of the day, I make decisions based on what is right for me and my child in my situation. Welcome to the world of parenting!
Since I happened to be in the one percent of the American population that didn't choose to give birth in a hospital (I went to a birth center), I was met with questions/remarks such as.. 1) Is that even safe? 2) Whyyyyyy would you do that?? 3) I just don't understand why you wouldn't get an epidural? You're not going to win some kind of medal or something!!
(**Quick sidenote: Can we just talk about that last one for a quick second though? This is not what this post is about, but I can't help it. That one just irks me. I'm passionate about birth and I can't help it. Plus, this is my blog and I get to do long sidenote vents when and where I want. But honestly?? I didn't give birth without drugs because I wanted to be cool, to try and be superwoman, or because I wanted to just see if I could do it for fun. Some women may find the research regarding epidurals and their effects on breastfeeding appealing... or others may be interested in the plethora of convincing research effects such as a higher incidence in low blood pressure or fever, a longer pushing stage, an increase in instrumental delivery, or the increased chances of needing more synthetic drugs due to a slowed down labor... but anyway! Rant over.)
That aside, I felt like people thought I was crazy... or at least some crunchy hippy that likes organic foods, yoga, cloth diapers, and sometimes co-sleeps. Oh wait... that is me. Well, label me as you must. Just go with me here for a second. I'm growing. I'm learning. And at first, it was hard for me to be met with so many that didn't understand something that I was so passionate about. I happen to think that waterbirth is AWESOME? So what? :-) Anyway... a little at a time, I'm starting to realize that the whole world of parenting is filled with these hot topics that everyone seems to disagree on.
For example, I recently saw this ad...
WOAH! Like I said... people are really passionate about some of these issues! I have a few things to say about this very controversial ad... but that is not the point of THIS post haha.
The point of THIS post, is that I'm starting to become more confident in my decisions, and realizing that part of parenting is doing the research, and then doing what is right for you and your family. I mean, I know this seems like common sense, but when you are met face to face with people who adamantly disagree with you and make you feel like you're doing something wrong, it's hard to be confident sometimes. And just like anything in life, there are lots of parenting issues that are hot topics. Vaccinations? Spanking? Basically, these issues result in me spending hours researching on the internet, talking to as many people as I can about what they do and why they do it, and then spending A LOT of time thinking, analyzing, more thinking, pondering, and then doing some over-thinking!!
But when it comes down to it, Scott and I get to make the shots. We get to decide what's right for us, and what's right for Miss K. It's a tremendous amount of responsibility... it's called PARENTING. And I can already tell ya, it's changing me for the better!
Having to make these big decisions for an innocent little child can be overwhelming, but I feel like it's making me a more confident person. I'm actually starting to enjoy the controversial issues and be amused by them, even if others think I'm crazy. At the end of the day, I make decisions based on what is right for me and my child in my situation. Welcome to the world of parenting!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Newborn Pictures!
My friend Becky came over a few weeks ago and took some newborn pics of little K. You can see more of her pictures on her website HERE. Here are some of my fave pics that she took!
Kaelyn's First Month
This month has also brought quite a bit of change in my emotions! This is nothing too new as I was hormonal throughout pregnancy, but I have definitely felt some of the highest highs and lowest lows to be sure. First of all, I'm quite sure I have never felt so ecstatic about anything in my life. She is the most gorgeous little person in this universe. I am also quite positive I have never done ANYTHING as worthwhile with my days as sustaining a living, breathing, beautiful human being. I have never experienced this type of love, and my heart just about explodes out of my body every time I see that gummy, toothless grin of hers. I love that I get to snuggle with her 24/7, and that I get to experience every new noise and incremental physical/developmental change each and every day. My life suddenly has so much purpose... so much meaning! I am fulfilling my dream of being a mom, and that feels fantastic.
At the same time, the lows I have felt have been quite interesting. Things are finally starting to normalize now (around 5ish weeks) and I feel like I can look back on this past month with more perspective. I think running on next to no sleep is definitely something that would drive anyone a bit crazy, and then add the hormones on top of that and it is sure to result in a few "off" days. Not to mention... being on demand 24/7 is something that takes a little getting used to. It's weird to spend so much time taking care of such a little, helpless being, and not being able to eat when I want to eat, or sleep when I want to sleep, etc. As much as we adore her, it seems there is quite a bit of sacrifice involved. :-) Of course we knew this going into parenthood, but it's still different when you are experiencing it!! :-) I also had a few of those days where I fell into the pit of despair trying to fit into non-maternity clothes, and mourning my pre-pregnancy body. I have a lot of work to do! I gained 45 pounds total, and lost 15 the first week after she was born. Since then (the past 4 weeks)... I haven't lost anything! What everyone says about the weight starting to fall off with breastfeeding apparently doesn't apply to me. At least it hasn't so far. So, yeah. It is seeming that I have about 30 lbs to lose on my own, which is going to take quite a bit of work. Boo.
All of that to say, despite the combination of mixed emotions, this has, without a doubt, been the best month of our entire lives. We are over the moon in love with our little one, and each day brings new excitement and challenges. I can honestly say that my heart misses her if she sleeps longer than an hour... YEAH, I'm pretty in love.
And now I will give you a 1 month show of little K's "firsts!"
First time getting ready for church....
First bath (which she totally loved!!). Of course it was because she was born in water. :-)
First Halloween! Kaelyn had a little onsie that said "my first Halloween" with a little pumpkin hat (thanks Aunt Christie!). We were Mr. and Mrs. Pacman (NO, not bumble bees!!!)
First play date (which she slept through most of....). These are her two friends Britain Larson (on the left, 10 days old in this pic), and Cody Harper (on the right, 13 days old in this pic).
Oh, and first boyfriend. Look at Cody puttin' the moves on her already....
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Assassin's Creed: Judges
One of my favorite new video game titles in recent years has been the Assassin's Creed series.
In this series, you play as a highly trained, skilled, stealthy, and acrobatic assassin fighting against corruption and evil. The assassins are the ultimate swordsmen, dangerous with any edged weapon, who escape into the shadows as soon as their mission is complete...
And on the brink of next month's release of the next game in the series, "Revelations," I just discovered the original Assassin... in the Bible. His name is Ehud and his story takes place in the book of Judges, Chapter 3. Ubisoft should probably do a prequel and make the judge Ehud into the main protagonist. The first mission would go something like this...
15Then the people of Israel cried out to the LORD, and the LORD raised up for them a deliverer, Ehud, the son of Gera, the Benjaminite, a left-handed man. The people of Israel sent tribute by him to Eglon the king of Moab. 16And Ehud made for himself a sword with two edges, a cubit in length, and he bound it on his right thigh under his clothes.
17And he presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab. Now Eglon was a very fat man. 18And when Ehud had finished presenting the tribute, he sent away the people who carried the tribute. 19But he himself turned back at the idols near Gilgal and said, "I have a secret message for you, O king." And he commanded, "Silence." And all his attendants went out from his presence.
20And Ehud came to him as he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber. And Ehud said, "I have a message from God for you." And he arose from his seat. 21And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. 22And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out. 23Then Ehud went out into the porch and closed the doors of the roof chamber behind him and locked them.
Skills.
In this series, you play as a highly trained, skilled, stealthy, and acrobatic assassin fighting against corruption and evil. The assassins are the ultimate swordsmen, dangerous with any edged weapon, who escape into the shadows as soon as their mission is complete...
And on the brink of next month's release of the next game in the series, "Revelations," I just discovered the original Assassin... in the Bible. His name is Ehud and his story takes place in the book of Judges, Chapter 3. Ubisoft should probably do a prequel and make the judge Ehud into the main protagonist. The first mission would go something like this...
15Then the people of Israel cried out to the LORD, and the LORD raised up for them a deliverer, Ehud, the son of Gera, the Benjaminite, a left-handed man. The people of Israel sent tribute by him to Eglon the king of Moab. 16And Ehud made for himself a sword with two edges, a cubit in length, and he bound it on his right thigh under his clothes.
17And he presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab. Now Eglon was a very fat man. 18And when Ehud had finished presenting the tribute, he sent away the people who carried the tribute. 19But he himself turned back at the idols near Gilgal and said, "I have a secret message for you, O king." And he commanded, "Silence." And all his attendants went out from his presence.
20And Ehud came to him as he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber. And Ehud said, "I have a message from God for you." And he arose from his seat. 21And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. 22And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out. 23Then Ehud went out into the porch and closed the doors of the roof chamber behind him and locked them.
Skills.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Kaelyn's Birth Journey
WARNING: This is a long post with ALLLL the raw details of a natural birth. If you have a weak stomach or are of the male persuasion, you've been warned! I didn't leave ANYTHING out!
This story begins on a cloudy Tuesday. Tuesday, Oct. 4th to be exact. This was my due date... a day marked on the calendar as the day around which my precious baby girl was to be born, and a day which I had dreamt about for 10 months. While I know that babies typically come between 37-42 weeks and I told myself that I was probably going to "go late" like first-time moms often do... there was still just something about that day I couldn't get past. I spent the whole day feeling like it was my wedding day and my husband forgot to show up or something! I wanted to meet her oooohhh so badly, and did not want to be pregnant for one more second! I woke up on this day with tears in my eyes staring at the empty bassinet next to me wishing I was looking at my baby girl. I looked down at my stomach and thought... "Baby K... I know you are a full grown baby in there... why are you still in my belly???!!! Why can't I just transfer you from this belly out onto my bed right now so I can look at you!??!"
I stopped returning calls and text messages asking me how I was feeling and if she was here yet because it was hard for me to even say out loud that she wasn't here yet. That is all that I wanted! I went on a long walk with my grandma Helen (who from this point on will be called Grammy because it's weird for me to call her anything else) who had come to stay at our house a few days prior and is helping and taking care of us during this transitional time.
**Side note... Grammy is spoiling us ROTTEN!! She makes delicious meals/snacks (can we say hellooooo amazing homemade waffles, pumpkin spice scones, pumpkin cream cheese rolls!!!), helps around the house, and makes sure I'm staying hydrated/getting enough sleep/taking my vitamins, and gives us numerous massages (oh yeah, did I mention she's a massage therapist too??) etc. etc.!! Not to mention... she is a nurse and knows EVERYTHING about babies! I ask her about a million questions a day and am so happy to have the privilege of having her stay with us. We would be so lost without her!! Another cool tidbit... she gave birth to my mother naturally (who was a first born) who gave birth to me naturally (the first born), and then was hugely instrumental in the natural birth of her great-grandbaby Kaelyn! Grammy was also at my Dad's birth; crazy, eh??
ANYWAY... I was having contractions throughout the walk with Grammy but had no idea they were contractions. I had read that contractions started as a lower back pain and gradually wrapped around to the front, but what I was feeling felt very much like menstrual cramps that started in my lower abdomen and crept upward. I wrote them off as Braxton Hicks or some kind of other weird pregnancy symptom. I spent the rest of the day exhausted, crampy, and feeling rather sorry for myself.
Around 9:30 that night, the "abdominal cramps" had intensified a bit, and I wondered in the back of my mind if there was any possible way I could actually be in labor. Scott and I starting timing these weird cramps, but they didn't appear to be very regular like real contractions would be. **Side note... I had thought that contractions had to be the EXACT same distance apart lasting for the EXACT same amount of time... and didn't realize that by me continuing to walk around and do things I was making them worse so they couldn't be regular.
Scott and I determined they were probably nothing, so we would just go to sleep. Welllllllll, I couldn't fall asleep. The "false labor" contractions were too intense. I wondered again if there was any remote possibility that this was really the beginning of Kaelyn's birth story. I didn't want to get my hopes up though, so I decided I would get up and return some e-mails and go on facebook. I was so in denial, it wasn't even funny! I didn't want to wake up Scott or Grammy if I wasn't really in labor, so I started timing the contractions again while reading about "What signs to look for to know if you're really in labor or just feeling Braxton Hicks." I had learned in our Bradley class that if it was truly the start of labor, the contractions wouldn't stop no matter what. I got up, walked around, went to the bathroom, sat for awhile... and they kept coming. After a couple hours of this, I found the contractions to be about 3-4 minutes apart lasting about a minute each and was pretty sure this was the real deal. I was pretty tired at this point and decided I would try to go back to sleep. If it was going to be a long labor, I wanted to be well rested! It was a little before 2:00am at this point. I don't know why I thought I'd be able to sleep when I couldn't sleep before, but my brain wasn't really being logical at this point! As soon as I laid down, I heard a little popping noise, and some water started to gush...
"WOH, I THINK MY WATER JUST BROKE!" I excitedly proclaimed as I rushed to the bathroom.
Scott bolted straight up in bed with the most wide-eyed bewildered sleepy face... "Have you been having contractions?? How long has this been happening??" He asked as he sleepily stumbled to the bathroom. I explained what had happened over the past couple hours.
"So... I guess I really am in labor then?" I asked fairly confident now.
"Babe, you are definitely in labor," he laughed. He took it all in with a nervous-determined-adrenalin-pumped-take-charge kind of face and said in a matter of fact tone, "Guess we better finish packing the bag then," as he rushed out of the bathroom in a hurry. (Our bag had been packed for awhile... but we still had to throw in some last minute items like toothbrushes and toiletries. :-))
I laid down on the bed and went through some contractions on my own while he finished packing. We decided it was definitely time to wake up Grammy and call Mary the midwife to let her know things were beginning! Scott told her that I was comfortable and okay to labor at home for awhile. Mary recommended I try to eat an egg and to let her know as things progressed. I wasn't hungry at all... but knew I needed to eat and drink throughout the labor process to keep my strength and stamina up. Grammy went downstairs to scramble an egg and make some toast for me and had just brought it up when Mary called back. She asked if I would be okay to go ahead and come in because she wanted to check on the baby since my water had already broken. I was, of course, completely fine with this, wanting to make sure we took every precaution for the safety of baby K! I tried to down the food as best I could, and we piled into the car.
The car ride over was not super pleasant as every bump and turn did not agree with my contractions! We arrived at Blossom Birth and Wellness Center around 4:00am on Wednesday the 5th.
As soon as I arrived, Mary did a quick check on me. We were all pleasantly surprised to find I was already 5cm dilated with a very soft cervix! Sorry if that is TMI... but you are reading a birth story!!
I spent the next couple of hours in a relaxed position on the bed (shown in picture below) while Grammy gave me a massage with Scott at my side. I had made a birth playlist, and we listened to relaxing piano music. In between contractions, I looked up at my handsome husband and we whispered about how our baby girl would be there so soon!!! I couldn't stop saying it out loud.... "She's coming babe... she's really coming!!" With each contraction, I was focused and relaxed, and pictured her little head wriggling her way out to meet us. There was such purpose in that pain! At one point I became nauseated and had to throw up in a puke bucket, but for some reason it didn't bother me the way throwing up normally does. I was focused, determined, and ready to meet my daughter!
After lying on the bed for awhile, I decided I wanted to move to the tub (pic below). It is a huge whirlpool tub that is all kinds of amazing! ***Side note (click HERE to see pictures and a video tour of the Blossom birthing suites).
Of course walking from the bed to the tub intensified the contractions, so Scott and I went through a few contractions together on the way to the tub as it filled up.
Let me say a few words about contractions in a hot jacuzzi tub.... the words I would use to describe the tub: relief, focused, warm, and comfortable. I am the person that takes hot baths when I am stressed... and there is just something about laying in tub that makes me feel relaxed and at peace. Scott, Grammy, and I talked and laughed in between contractions, and when the contractions came, I closed my eyes and focused. While the peak of each contraction continued to get more intense, I loved the fact that every time I hit a peak, I knew the pain would then lessen, and I would get a break at the end. I felt more focused and relaxed than I ever have in my life!
That being said, time felt like it was moving very slowly. When I first got in the tub, all I wanted was for the labor to hurry and speed up! I could control how I reacted to the contractions, but I couldn't control the pace of the labor... so that drove me a bit batty! I asked for all the clocks to be hidden and to not know how much time had passed. I wanted to be focused on what I was doing without the distraction of knowing how long it was taking so I wouldn't get discouraged. Occasionally, a contraction would catch me off guard and start more intensely than the others. There was one in particular that made me tear up as it scared me that it had come on so quickly and I felt like I had lost it. For the most part though, I felt like most of the other contractions were very manageable.
Every time a contraction would come, I felt myself going into some kind of zone that I can't even describe. I am going to try really hard to not sound corny, so bear with me... but I really felt like I went into some kind of alternate universe in my head. I went to a place where no one could go, where I felt empowered and incredibly strong. I did my best to think as positively as I could. I told myself that this was going to be a quick, easy labor, that I was doing an excellent job, and that I was strong, capable, and handling everything extremely well. I looked around me, and talked to Grammy and Scott about how happy I was to be at Blossom. I felt calm, comfortable, peaceful, and in control. It gave me strength knowing that I was bringing her into this world without any drugs affecting her little body, and that I was doing the best I could for the two of us.
Throughout the labor, I forced myself to eat some strawberries and string cheese, and Scott and Grammy continued to keep me hydrated with coconut water. Over the next few hours, the contractions became stronger, longer, and closer together. I forced myself to change positions from time to time to keep things progressing even though it really hurt to do so! I practiced deep breathing and focused on relaxing every muscle in my body throughout the contractions. Grammy and Scott soaked washcloths in ice and held them to my forehead which felt soooooooo good!
After numerous hours (who knows how many... the clocks were hidden!), I decided I was pruney enough and I would go back and labor on the bed for a bit. This was the most difficult part of the entire birth process. Right after laying down, I hit the transitional stage (the stage right before pushing where the contractions are the strongest, longest and you often have contractions back to back without a break in between). Thankfully, this was also the shortest stage for me. This stage is really hard for me to remember because I was seriously off in some kind of distant labor land and had no idea what was going on around me! I listened to the music and forced myself to relax. While it was difficult, I felt like I did pretty good, with the exception of one particularly LONG, RIDICULOUSLY INTENSE contraction that I distinctly remember curtly stating that if I had one more contraction like that I would die! It was also at this point that I snapped at my dear sweet husband who was trying to stroke my arm and tell me what a good job I was doing. I really needed to focus at that point... so I asked him not to touch me, talk, or move! He ended up taking a little nap next to me on the bed. :-)
As I approached the pushing stage, the contractions slowed down quite a bit, and I was able to take short naps in between contractions. I felt sooooooooo relaxed, and it felt amazing to just sleep in between. After snoozing for awhile, I decided to get back in the tub. On the way to the tub, I had to go to the bathroom, so I ended up laboring on the toilet for awhile as moving around was quite the chore. Mary brought me a protein shake to give me some extra strength before the pushing stage. I may have drank a little too fast and threw some of it up... but I still got some nutrients and strength out of it! :-) It was on the toilet, ironically, that I first felt "the urge to push..." although it really felt more like a strong urge to go #2!
After that, back into the tub I went! We decided to do another check, and I was 9 cm dilated at this point with an anterior lip... almost all the way effaced, just a lip of the cervix around the rim that was still over Kaelyn's head. I was struggling at this point with not feeling like I wanted to push, but also feeling like maybe I should try. It didn't "feel good to push" like I had heard a lot of women say... so I didn't want to force the pain. Plus, I had been through a lot of pain at this point already so didn't really want to force pain when it didn't have to be there!
I was battling a lot of questions in my mind. Was I supposed to start pushing yet? How long should I wait? What was it going to feel like? Was I taking too long? How much was it going to hurt? Was everyone getting tired of waiting around for me? Was I able to push this baby out? What would happen if I just decided not to push?? Would they make me go to the hospital? Was this normal? What was I supposed to do? Mary and Grammy decided to give Scott and I some time on our own, so they went into the other room while I went through a couple more contractions. As much as I wanted to meet Kaelyn, I was tired, and didn't know how to get over this hurdle. I asked Scott to step out for awhile and I just tried to relax in the tub by myself as much as I could. Mary came in soon after that and said...
"Brianne... you're over-thinking this. You just really need to listen to your body and let your wild beast out!"
Oh, man... this is something I have heard my whole life! My second grade teacher often told my mom that I over analyzed the tests. When Mary said this, it all made sense. Of course I would try to OVER-THINK the birth of my firstborn. I over-think everything else in life, so why not Kaelyn's birth!? This was so key... as soon as she said this, I knew I just needed to STOP thinking and just LISTEN to what my body was telling me. I was also afraid to just let my body be in control. I always feel like I am so "in control," and to just let my body take over felt very odd! I was afraid of what might happen or what might come out of my mouth if I let go of the control!
I closed my eyes and started to slowly push with the contractions. I focused on what my body was telling me, and even though it was uncomfortable, after doing this for a few minutes, I felt my body start to take over! I was doing it! It was happening! I could feel her head descending from inside of me... what a crazy awesome feeling. I started to feel the "ring of fire" a bit... a slight burning sensation down there as she started to crown. The crazy thing? I didn't care! I knew this was the final stretch, and I was about to meet her any second. Mary told me she could see her head, and said I could reach down to touch it. I reached down to feel her little head coming out. That was all I needed to give me that extra motivation to finish strong! Mary estimated it would be about 20 more pushes. It was so great to have an obtainable goal! That didn't sound like that much at all! I pushed as hard as I could for as long as I could... and after about 7-10 pushes, at 4:54pm on Wednesday October 5th, 2011, I heard everyone crying out in celebration!!
What?? That was it?? She was out?? I was done?? It was over?? I did it!!!! Nothing mattered... my baby girl was in my arms!!
What followed after that were the most precious, amazing moments of my life on Earth so far. Kaelyn went straight on my chest and it was love at first sight. She looked right up at me with big eyes as if saying "Thank you for bringing me into this world, Mommy! I love you!" I looked up at my husband's handsome face and stared into his big tear-rimmed blue eyes. I had never been more in love with him than I was in that moment.
"She's here!!!! She's here!! Can you believe she's finally here??"
We kissed, and I felt like I was in a surreal dream... I was floating... I was ecstatic... I was glowing... my heart was beating out of my chest... I was too emotional to sob, and all I could do was just say... "Oh... she's here... she's finally here....." The natural birth hormones and flood of endorphins were incredible!!
I held her sweet warm body and snuggled it up against mine as Scott and Mary transferred me to the bed. I kissed her, I held her close, I gazed into her eyes, and I knew life would never be the same. Scott climbed into bed next to me and we laid there together in awe of what had just happened. Did I really just push her out of my (gulp!). WOW. Yes, that really just happened. Every moment I just experienced... SO WORTH IT. What a gorgeous little creature. What a blessing from God. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. Did Scott and I really create this little being with our DNA mixed together? She was perfect!!!! Every little feature was perfect.
The placenta came out quickly after that and didn't hurt at all as I was just staring down at my precious baby girl!! As a precaution and to help dry out some fluid that was still in her lungs, we gave her some extra oxygen (shown above). I also found out later that she had the cord wrapped around her neck when she first came out, which is why she was a little blueish at first. Mary just quickly slipped it over her head as soon as she came out so I didn't even know this happened until much later! We just gave her a good rubbin' all over and she turned a nice shade of pink quite soon! Apparently this is quite common during delivery and was not a big deal, as she showed no signs of distress and her heart rate stayed normal throughout delivery.
Right after the placenta was delivered, I was able to immediately breastfeed. Mary and the labor assistant, Danielle, helped Kaelyn to get a good latch, and we were set! I'm pretty sure Kaelyn has wanted to be permanently attached to me since then... She is quite the strong little sucker and a breastfeeding champ! She pretty much has to have something in her mouth at all times!
After some bonding and breastfeeding time in bed with our sweet new little family, Scott took her into the other room for some daddy/baby time while I got a few outside stitches. Then, we weighed and measured her (7 lbs, 5.5 oz, 19.5 inches long). Mary asked us how long we would like to stay, and I said that I was ready to go! I felt amazing, and I had my baby girl in my arms. I was ready to go home and shower/sleep in my own bed. The pics below were taken on the way out the door... not the best pictures I've ever taken in my life with no make-up after being awake for over 24 hours with no shower and a 20 hour labor... but here they are nonetheless! The first pic is my midwife Mary and labor assistant Danielle, and the second is the birth team that never left my side... the ever-fabulous and wonderful Grammy Forbes and my adorable, supportive hubby! Mary spent a lot of the labor in the next room just hanging out as she said I had such a fabulous birth team, she didn't have to do much! **Side note: HERE is Mary the Midwife's website if you want to learn more about her... she is AMAZING!!!!!! Also, I didn't talk much about it above, but if you are interested in how the heck it was possible for me to give birth in water, click HERE.
We got Kaelyn into her little ducky PJ's, and we went home just hours after her beautiful grand entrance into this world!
This story begins on a cloudy Tuesday. Tuesday, Oct. 4th to be exact. This was my due date... a day marked on the calendar as the day around which my precious baby girl was to be born, and a day which I had dreamt about for 10 months. While I know that babies typically come between 37-42 weeks and I told myself that I was probably going to "go late" like first-time moms often do... there was still just something about that day I couldn't get past. I spent the whole day feeling like it was my wedding day and my husband forgot to show up or something! I wanted to meet her oooohhh so badly, and did not want to be pregnant for one more second! I woke up on this day with tears in my eyes staring at the empty bassinet next to me wishing I was looking at my baby girl. I looked down at my stomach and thought... "Baby K... I know you are a full grown baby in there... why are you still in my belly???!!! Why can't I just transfer you from this belly out onto my bed right now so I can look at you!??!"
I stopped returning calls and text messages asking me how I was feeling and if she was here yet because it was hard for me to even say out loud that she wasn't here yet. That is all that I wanted! I went on a long walk with my grandma Helen (who from this point on will be called Grammy because it's weird for me to call her anything else) who had come to stay at our house a few days prior and is helping and taking care of us during this transitional time.
**Side note... Grammy is spoiling us ROTTEN!! She makes delicious meals/snacks (can we say hellooooo amazing homemade waffles, pumpkin spice scones, pumpkin cream cheese rolls!!!), helps around the house, and makes sure I'm staying hydrated/getting enough sleep/taking my vitamins, and gives us numerous massages (oh yeah, did I mention she's a massage therapist too??) etc. etc.!! Not to mention... she is a nurse and knows EVERYTHING about babies! I ask her about a million questions a day and am so happy to have the privilege of having her stay with us. We would be so lost without her!! Another cool tidbit... she gave birth to my mother naturally (who was a first born) who gave birth to me naturally (the first born), and then was hugely instrumental in the natural birth of her great-grandbaby Kaelyn! Grammy was also at my Dad's birth; crazy, eh??
ANYWAY... I was having contractions throughout the walk with Grammy but had no idea they were contractions. I had read that contractions started as a lower back pain and gradually wrapped around to the front, but what I was feeling felt very much like menstrual cramps that started in my lower abdomen and crept upward. I wrote them off as Braxton Hicks or some kind of other weird pregnancy symptom. I spent the rest of the day exhausted, crampy, and feeling rather sorry for myself.
Around 9:30 that night, the "abdominal cramps" had intensified a bit, and I wondered in the back of my mind if there was any possible way I could actually be in labor. Scott and I starting timing these weird cramps, but they didn't appear to be very regular like real contractions would be. **Side note... I had thought that contractions had to be the EXACT same distance apart lasting for the EXACT same amount of time... and didn't realize that by me continuing to walk around and do things I was making them worse so they couldn't be regular.
Scott and I determined they were probably nothing, so we would just go to sleep. Welllllllll, I couldn't fall asleep. The "false labor" contractions were too intense. I wondered again if there was any remote possibility that this was really the beginning of Kaelyn's birth story. I didn't want to get my hopes up though, so I decided I would get up and return some e-mails and go on facebook. I was so in denial, it wasn't even funny! I didn't want to wake up Scott or Grammy if I wasn't really in labor, so I started timing the contractions again while reading about "What signs to look for to know if you're really in labor or just feeling Braxton Hicks." I had learned in our Bradley class that if it was truly the start of labor, the contractions wouldn't stop no matter what. I got up, walked around, went to the bathroom, sat for awhile... and they kept coming. After a couple hours of this, I found the contractions to be about 3-4 minutes apart lasting about a minute each and was pretty sure this was the real deal. I was pretty tired at this point and decided I would try to go back to sleep. If it was going to be a long labor, I wanted to be well rested! It was a little before 2:00am at this point. I don't know why I thought I'd be able to sleep when I couldn't sleep before, but my brain wasn't really being logical at this point! As soon as I laid down, I heard a little popping noise, and some water started to gush...
"WOH, I THINK MY WATER JUST BROKE!" I excitedly proclaimed as I rushed to the bathroom.
Scott bolted straight up in bed with the most wide-eyed bewildered sleepy face... "Have you been having contractions?? How long has this been happening??" He asked as he sleepily stumbled to the bathroom. I explained what had happened over the past couple hours.
"So... I guess I really am in labor then?" I asked fairly confident now.
"Babe, you are definitely in labor," he laughed. He took it all in with a nervous-determined-adrenalin-pumped-take-charge kind of face and said in a matter of fact tone, "Guess we better finish packing the bag then," as he rushed out of the bathroom in a hurry. (Our bag had been packed for awhile... but we still had to throw in some last minute items like toothbrushes and toiletries. :-))
I laid down on the bed and went through some contractions on my own while he finished packing. We decided it was definitely time to wake up Grammy and call Mary the midwife to let her know things were beginning! Scott told her that I was comfortable and okay to labor at home for awhile. Mary recommended I try to eat an egg and to let her know as things progressed. I wasn't hungry at all... but knew I needed to eat and drink throughout the labor process to keep my strength and stamina up. Grammy went downstairs to scramble an egg and make some toast for me and had just brought it up when Mary called back. She asked if I would be okay to go ahead and come in because she wanted to check on the baby since my water had already broken. I was, of course, completely fine with this, wanting to make sure we took every precaution for the safety of baby K! I tried to down the food as best I could, and we piled into the car.
The car ride over was not super pleasant as every bump and turn did not agree with my contractions! We arrived at Blossom Birth and Wellness Center around 4:00am on Wednesday the 5th.
As soon as I arrived, Mary did a quick check on me. We were all pleasantly surprised to find I was already 5cm dilated with a very soft cervix! Sorry if that is TMI... but you are reading a birth story!!
I spent the next couple of hours in a relaxed position on the bed (shown in picture below) while Grammy gave me a massage with Scott at my side. I had made a birth playlist, and we listened to relaxing piano music. In between contractions, I looked up at my handsome husband and we whispered about how our baby girl would be there so soon!!! I couldn't stop saying it out loud.... "She's coming babe... she's really coming!!" With each contraction, I was focused and relaxed, and pictured her little head wriggling her way out to meet us. There was such purpose in that pain! At one point I became nauseated and had to throw up in a puke bucket, but for some reason it didn't bother me the way throwing up normally does. I was focused, determined, and ready to meet my daughter!
After lying on the bed for awhile, I decided I wanted to move to the tub (pic below). It is a huge whirlpool tub that is all kinds of amazing! ***Side note (click HERE to see pictures and a video tour of the Blossom birthing suites).
Let me say a few words about contractions in a hot jacuzzi tub.... the words I would use to describe the tub: relief, focused, warm, and comfortable. I am the person that takes hot baths when I am stressed... and there is just something about laying in tub that makes me feel relaxed and at peace. Scott, Grammy, and I talked and laughed in between contractions, and when the contractions came, I closed my eyes and focused. While the peak of each contraction continued to get more intense, I loved the fact that every time I hit a peak, I knew the pain would then lessen, and I would get a break at the end. I felt more focused and relaxed than I ever have in my life!
That being said, time felt like it was moving very slowly. When I first got in the tub, all I wanted was for the labor to hurry and speed up! I could control how I reacted to the contractions, but I couldn't control the pace of the labor... so that drove me a bit batty! I asked for all the clocks to be hidden and to not know how much time had passed. I wanted to be focused on what I was doing without the distraction of knowing how long it was taking so I wouldn't get discouraged. Occasionally, a contraction would catch me off guard and start more intensely than the others. There was one in particular that made me tear up as it scared me that it had come on so quickly and I felt like I had lost it. For the most part though, I felt like most of the other contractions were very manageable.
Throughout the labor, I forced myself to eat some strawberries and string cheese, and Scott and Grammy continued to keep me hydrated with coconut water. Over the next few hours, the contractions became stronger, longer, and closer together. I forced myself to change positions from time to time to keep things progressing even though it really hurt to do so! I practiced deep breathing and focused on relaxing every muscle in my body throughout the contractions. Grammy and Scott soaked washcloths in ice and held them to my forehead which felt soooooooo good!
As I approached the pushing stage, the contractions slowed down quite a bit, and I was able to take short naps in between contractions. I felt sooooooooo relaxed, and it felt amazing to just sleep in between. After snoozing for awhile, I decided to get back in the tub. On the way to the tub, I had to go to the bathroom, so I ended up laboring on the toilet for awhile as moving around was quite the chore. Mary brought me a protein shake to give me some extra strength before the pushing stage. I may have drank a little too fast and threw some of it up... but I still got some nutrients and strength out of it! :-) It was on the toilet, ironically, that I first felt "the urge to push..." although it really felt more like a strong urge to go #2!
After that, back into the tub I went! We decided to do another check, and I was 9 cm dilated at this point with an anterior lip... almost all the way effaced, just a lip of the cervix around the rim that was still over Kaelyn's head. I was struggling at this point with not feeling like I wanted to push, but also feeling like maybe I should try. It didn't "feel good to push" like I had heard a lot of women say... so I didn't want to force the pain. Plus, I had been through a lot of pain at this point already so didn't really want to force pain when it didn't have to be there!
I was battling a lot of questions in my mind. Was I supposed to start pushing yet? How long should I wait? What was it going to feel like? Was I taking too long? How much was it going to hurt? Was everyone getting tired of waiting around for me? Was I able to push this baby out? What would happen if I just decided not to push?? Would they make me go to the hospital? Was this normal? What was I supposed to do? Mary and Grammy decided to give Scott and I some time on our own, so they went into the other room while I went through a couple more contractions. As much as I wanted to meet Kaelyn, I was tired, and didn't know how to get over this hurdle. I asked Scott to step out for awhile and I just tried to relax in the tub by myself as much as I could. Mary came in soon after that and said...
"Brianne... you're over-thinking this. You just really need to listen to your body and let your wild beast out!"
Oh, man... this is something I have heard my whole life! My second grade teacher often told my mom that I over analyzed the tests. When Mary said this, it all made sense. Of course I would try to OVER-THINK the birth of my firstborn. I over-think everything else in life, so why not Kaelyn's birth!? This was so key... as soon as she said this, I knew I just needed to STOP thinking and just LISTEN to what my body was telling me. I was also afraid to just let my body be in control. I always feel like I am so "in control," and to just let my body take over felt very odd! I was afraid of what might happen or what might come out of my mouth if I let go of the control!
I closed my eyes and started to slowly push with the contractions. I focused on what my body was telling me, and even though it was uncomfortable, after doing this for a few minutes, I felt my body start to take over! I was doing it! It was happening! I could feel her head descending from inside of me... what a crazy awesome feeling. I started to feel the "ring of fire" a bit... a slight burning sensation down there as she started to crown. The crazy thing? I didn't care! I knew this was the final stretch, and I was about to meet her any second. Mary told me she could see her head, and said I could reach down to touch it. I reached down to feel her little head coming out. That was all I needed to give me that extra motivation to finish strong! Mary estimated it would be about 20 more pushes. It was so great to have an obtainable goal! That didn't sound like that much at all! I pushed as hard as I could for as long as I could... and after about 7-10 pushes, at 4:54pm on Wednesday October 5th, 2011, I heard everyone crying out in celebration!!
What?? That was it?? She was out?? I was done?? It was over?? I did it!!!! Nothing mattered... my baby girl was in my arms!!
What followed after that were the most precious, amazing moments of my life on Earth so far. Kaelyn went straight on my chest and it was love at first sight. She looked right up at me with big eyes as if saying "Thank you for bringing me into this world, Mommy! I love you!" I looked up at my husband's handsome face and stared into his big tear-rimmed blue eyes. I had never been more in love with him than I was in that moment.
We kissed, and I felt like I was in a surreal dream... I was floating... I was ecstatic... I was glowing... my heart was beating out of my chest... I was too emotional to sob, and all I could do was just say... "Oh... she's here... she's finally here....." The natural birth hormones and flood of endorphins were incredible!!
I held her sweet warm body and snuggled it up against mine as Scott and Mary transferred me to the bed. I kissed her, I held her close, I gazed into her eyes, and I knew life would never be the same. Scott climbed into bed next to me and we laid there together in awe of what had just happened. Did I really just push her out of my (gulp!). WOW. Yes, that really just happened. Every moment I just experienced... SO WORTH IT. What a gorgeous little creature. What a blessing from God. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. Did Scott and I really create this little being with our DNA mixed together? She was perfect!!!! Every little feature was perfect.
Right after the placenta was delivered, I was able to immediately breastfeed. Mary and the labor assistant, Danielle, helped Kaelyn to get a good latch, and we were set! I'm pretty sure Kaelyn has wanted to be permanently attached to me since then... She is quite the strong little sucker and a breastfeeding champ! She pretty much has to have something in her mouth at all times!
What a beautiful, memorable, amazing day! I could not have imagined a more wonderful birth experience and I will treasure these memories for the rest of my life!!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Reflections in the Final Days of Pregnancy - 38.5 Weeks Pregnant
We're in the final countdown, and I am in between identities. Very soon I will go from the status of the pregnant lady to full-time mom. And today I am filled with a lot of questions for God. Are we in the final days? Or will it still be a couple more weeks? What a precious time this is. How do I soak it all up? How do I fully embrace this time? Not to mention... how do I even wrap my mind around what is happening? As I sit here and write this, my round belly is sticking out and there are little movements poking out above my belly button. Is it a hand? Is it a foot? An elbow? A knee? What on earth is she doing in there? What does she look like? Does she have Dad's eyes and Mom's hands? Will she want to be held all the time? Will she be more easy-going? What does it feel like to breastfeed?
This week I am focusing on the concept of just "being." I am always moving... busy with full-time work and school... busy with housekeeping, church ministries, bible studies, relationships... but right now I am focused. I sit here with the knowledge that never in my life will I have this time again--a time without work, school, or a child.
And so I sit. I sit and ponder what God has in store for our little family. I feel incredibly blessed to have the honor of taking care of this child, and I do not take one day for granted. This is His child. I fully embrace this responsibility, and will do everything I can to raise this child in the serenity of His arms. Today I am moved by the beauty and wonder of what God has created inside of me. From conception to birth, this was God's plan. I don't know what the future holds, but I am thankful for this day, this time, these past 10 months.
When Scott and I were first married, I was so scared I was going to be "that girl" that got pregnant on her honeymoon. After being married about a year... we started to get asked "the question." You know... the one where people start to casually ask... "So... when do you think you'll have kids?" I gave my society's designated automatic response... "Oh.. you know... a couple of years or so..."
And now here we are... almost to our 4 year anniversary, and the timing couldn't be more perfect and ideal. Although I started bugging Scott around the 2 year mark, God had other plans for us, and He didn't allow Scott to feel settled about starting a family until about a year ago... in HIS timing. I complained and whined and said, "I'm neeeeeeevvvveerrrrr going to have a baby. What if we can't even get pregnant? I'm the only one who doesn't have a baby.... it's not fair!!" One of the things that I love about conception, is that you can't screw it up!! If a woman is blessed with a child, you know it is God's timing. He wouldn't give you something He didn't want for you. In a world full of questions and mysteries when you might ask God for something and never feel He is answering you, having a baby just isn't one of those things. If and when He blesses a woman with the joy of pregnancy, than it's in His will. So when I have all these questions for God like I wrote above... or I wonder how we are going to make it on one income or what motherhood is going to be like, I am at peace knowing that I'm doing something right. That God has chosen this path for me, and that I am to raise this child in Him to the best of my ability.
So as I wait for her arrival, I wait on God, and I rest in knowing that His timing is perfect, and I can't screw it up. :-) I reflect on the past years of my life, and embrace the start of a new chapter. We are starting a little family of 3, and will soon be embracing new roles as mom and dad. And so I end on yet another question..... is this REALLY HAPPENING????
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Project Nursery Complete
After much nursery blog stalking, contemplation, dreaming, time, and labor, we now present to you.... baby Kaelyn's room!! We hope you love it as much as we do!!
Maternity Pictures at 36 Weeks
Our amazingly talented friends Josh and Kelley Johnson over at Radiant Photography took some maternity pictures for us over Labor Day weekend. It was blazing hot outside, so we woke up at the crack of dawn so we wouldn't be sweating and looking miserable in all the pictures! There was something incredibly beautiful about standing in a field with my husband during sunrise while feeling my baby girl moving around inside me... a tiny bit of pure heaven! Here are some of our favorites from that morning!
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