Happy Birthday, Jesus!

 If Jesus was still on Earth... He would be somewhere around 2,000 years old!  Instead of focusing on His age... I'm thinking He would probably want us to spend his birthday in other ways.  :-)  Knowing Jesus... I'm thinking that He would want us to celebrate his birth like this:

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release the prisoners from darkness,^[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn....

Isaiah 61: 1-2

I love these verses!  How can we serve and give more to others this holiday season?  How can we give to the poor, comfort all who mourn, and be Jesus' hands and feet as a way of celebrating His glorious life?  Just some food for thought on this beautiful Monday.  Merry Christmas week, everyone!

SEX! Post # 2

The first post I wrote about sex had to do with changing the way we look at sex in the marriage relationship. This post has to do with numerous discussions I've had about sex with married Christian women in the past few years. I'm feeling like there is a disconnect between what God wants for sex in marriage, and what is actually happening in the bedroom. For whatever reason, it seems to me that many Christian women are having trouble differentiating between what Godly women are supposed to be, and how to be sensuous with their husbands.

I'm reading a book right now called Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus that I would recommend to any Christian bride who is looking for answers about sex from a Godly perspective. I would like to share some of the verses that this book has brought to my attention in regards to how God views sex.

God gave us the gift of sex for the following reasons:

1) To create life

2) For intimate oneness

4) For pleasure

5) As a defense against temptation

6) For comfort

In a little more detail.....

God Gave us Sex so We Can Create Life
God created Adam from the dust of the Earth, and then created Eve from Adam's rib. He could have continued to create man and woman in this same way, but he chose not to. In Genesis 1:28, God makes the command to "be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth." In other words, God could have created the people of this world in a million different ways, but instead, he gave us the gift of sex as a way of creating a child. And I doubt God had to explain to Adam and Eve how to create a child together. Our creative and amazing God crafted our bodies perfectly to fit together in a unique way. I sure wish I could have a cup of coffee with Eve today so she could describe to me her amazement of what her and Adam discovered together!

God Gave us Sex for Intimate Oneness
Genesis 2:24 says that "A man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." This is truly a beautiful thought. Instead of being separate beings, God wants us to be so woven, bonded, and intimately connected with our spouse, that we would be seen by God as one rather than two.

God Gave us Sex for Pleasure
Pleasure is a dimension of sex that God talks about quite a bit. In fact, anyone who has read the Song of Solomon knows that God devoted an entire book of the Bible to sexual pleasure in marriage! Other passages speak about sexual pleasure as well. Proverbs 5:15, 18-19 says, "Drink from your own well, my son--be faithful and true to your wife. ... Let your manhood be a blessing; rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight." There is a beautiful parallel drawn here between quenching thirst by cool, fresh water, and a couple's sexual thirst and desire for one another. From the perspective of Linda Dillow, this verse is saying to let a sexual embrace with your husband or wife intoxicate you continually with delight and to fully enjoy the ecstasy of love. Enjoy your spouse. Give to him, receive from him, and delight yourself in the erotic feelings of sexual love.

God Gave us Sex as a Defense Against Temptation
Sex can be a powerful weapon used for good or evil. To make sure that it is used for good, God gave us boundaries to prevent us from the harm that sex can cause. Sexual lust is obviously a big problem in our world today. Proverbs 5 warns about sexual lust: "Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well" (verse 15). It then references the wife in regards to helping defer against sexual temptation.

¹⁸ May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
¹⁹ A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

The following passage also makes it clear that sex in marriage can be used as a deterrent to sexual temptation.

1 Corinthians 7: 2,5
"But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband... Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

God Gave us Sex for Comfort

In 2 Samuel 12:24, after David and Bathsheba's son had died, the Bible says that "David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in to her and lay with her. So she bore a son, and he called his name Solomon." Sometimes, the most effective comfort and encouragement we can give to our spouses is loving them sexually. During hard times, we can help our spouses to relax and release unwanted tension. I've heard numerous stories about sex being used for comfort, but one stands out in my mind. I have a friend who went through depression a number of years ago. She was distant from most everyone, and had trouble experiencing the fullness of life. During this time, the best way for the husband to comfort his wife was through sex. In this way, he was able to love her on a different level. Sometimes words aren't enough. Being able to comfort your husband or wife through sex can be one of the most healing and enriching forms of love.

Even if the world has desecrated God's perfect gift of sex, we can still use it for good in a powerful way. God wants us to be naked with our spouse and to not be ashamed. He wants us to embrace what He created in the right way. God desires us to give and receive exquisite pleasure, and to rejoice in the intimate connectedness that sex can bring. So make it a point to love your spouse on a different level. Try viewing sex from God's perspective instead of what the world is telling you. Sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed... so use it in the way that He created it to be; as a way of drawing you closer to your spouse in intimate oneness, for pleasure and comfort, and as a defense against sexual lust and temptation.

Micah Kaplan 2/3/85-12/12/10

A friend of ours passed away on Sunday.  Beloved husband, son, and teacher, Micah Benjamin Kaplan, 25, passed away in a car accident on the 101 on his way home from work.  He was a P.E. teacher at Highland Lakes School and Desert Sage Elementary School, and coached varsity soccer at Sandra Day O'Connor High.  Anyone knew him knew that his passions in life were his wife, people, and sharing the love of Jesus Christ.  Micah was married on May 24th, 2008 to his beautiful wife Susanna.  Together, they started a small group in their home called Agape, where Micah would invite everyone he knew, including his co-workers.  Micah's love for others and for God shone brightly, and he impacted anyone who came across his path.  Micah was very vocal about his love for God and his wife Susanna.  He was a very encouraging person, and loved everyone who came across his path.  He proposed to his wife Susie while she was battling cancer, and continued to love and support her throughout that journey. He was one of those people who put  a million exclamations after everything on facebook..... 

Micah Kaplan Just got home from work....So glad God is blessing me with the ability to work right now. I am so thankful for all of things that are happening. I love my family and my Lord!!!

Micah Kaplan Amazing night with family and my freaking AWESOME WIFE! Great day :)

My Amazing Wife is Graduating tonight! Way to go Susanna Kaplan!!! I love you so much! What an amazing accomplishment!! YOU ARE ONE HOT NURSE!!!!!!

Micah Kaplan There will never be another October 20th, 2010 ever again. Live it up today. Let His light shine!!!!! Today is gonna be AWESOME!!!!!!!

Micah Kaplan There is Victory in Him, which makes me the Victor and no longer the loser!!!!

Micah Kaplan My Amazing, beautiful wife Susie Marie Kaplan finished Nursing school tonight!!! There have been so many obstacles she has had to overcome while in school including Cancer. But by the Grace, Strength, and Joy of the Lord she did it! Not only did she pass school, SHE DOMINATED IT! Susie I am so proud of you. YOU AR...E TRULY AN OVERCOMER AND A CHAMPION IN EVERY WAY! CONGRATULATIONS NURSE SUSIE!!!!!!!

Micah Kaplan AGAPE is tonight!!!! Come and join us as we eat and fellowship together. There is no better place to be than in the midst of Him!!!!!! SO PUMPED!!!!

Micah Kaplan There is a great man who makes every man feel small. But the real great man is the man who makes every man feel great. -- G. K. Chesterton

All of this to say, this is a huge wake up call.  Micah and Susie are the same age as Scott and I.  We got married around the same time, live down the street from them, and would meet them up at the dog park for their golden retriever Buddy to play with Sam and Sadie.  I felt like it could have been Scott in that car accident, and I just don't know what I would do without my husband.  My heart aches for Susie and for all she has and is going through.

And with this, I want to make it a point to live life to the fullest.  If something were to happen to me, I would want people to say about me what people are saying about Micah.  I want to radiate the love of Jesus to anyone that comes across my path and always be positive despite my circumstances.  I want to reach out to others, and spend my days making every moment count.  I don't want to worry about petty things, and I want to suck every second out of every day making a difference in the lives of those around me.  

Thank you, Micah, for making a difference in this world.  Thank you for loving God and others the way that you did, and for being an amazing living testimony for Him.  You lived your life well, and you are admired, loved, and missed by many.

Micah and Susie were struggling financially as Susie still has financial bills from her battle with cancer, and now student loans as Micah was working two jobs to put her through nursing school.  If God lays it on your heart, please consider making a donation.

Information and donations and more on the life of Micah Kaplan is available at http://ilovemicahkaplan.blogspot.com/.

A Predictable Blog on Thanksgiving? Sorry, It's Not My Fault...

Our pastor recently challenged us to be grateful for at least one thing every day this week. The message wasn't on Thanksgiving, as predictable as that would have been, but just happened to include a few verses in which the Apostle Paul mentions the concept of thanksgiving (Colossians 3:15-17). Even beyond that, for weeks now I've felt inextricably drawn toward a greater spirit of gratitude. God has blessed me so much beyond what I deserve, and He's been making that quite clear.

Even on my worst day at work, I have a job.
Even when something breaks on my house, I have a roof over my head.
Even when the check engine light comes on in my car, I have transportation.
Even when my clothes wear out, I have still more hanging in my closet.
Even when Mint.com e-mails me telling me a balance is low or a bill is due, I have enough to live comfortably.
Even when I have a disagreement with my wife, I have someone who still loves me and isn't going anywhere.
Even when my back hurts and plagues me throughout the day, I have a (mostly) healthy body.
Even when my dogs annoy the crap out of me, I have two companions to keep me company as I work from home so I don't go insane.
Even when I make mistakes, I have grace.
Even when I do the wrong thing, I have forgiveness.
Even when I was still a sinner, I have Christ.

It's pathetic that we have to have a holiday to remind us to be thankful. I should wake up EVERY DAY with the immediate awareness that I owe my life to someone else greater than me. The breath in my lungs is a gift, and the things at my disposal have been given for a purpose. And that purpose is bigger than me. I am inexplicably thankful to God that the Holy Spirit has been moving in my heart for weeks to get me to the point where I can feel this much gratitude. For too long I lived with a sense of entitlement, like I had earned any of this. By my hard work, or the sweat on my brow, I did it. What a fool.

If you look someone in the eyes who will eat their next meal only because of the money you just gave them, you see true thankfulness. Because the fact is, that guy needs that $5 more than I do, the Phoenix Rescue Mission needs that donation more than I do, the church benevolence fund needs my money more than I do. This world is full of hurting, broken people, and I too was broken. But I've been made whole again. God has blessed me with abundant life and that abundance wasn't so that I could live up in my own little world, keeping everyone else at arms length. The abundance given to me was so that I, in turn, can give to others.

1 Corinthians 1:5 says: "For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too." Even if I suffer in this life, God won't waste that suffering. Because there will always be someone who has suffered worse than me who needs comforting. Comfort that I can give. And without first having a spirit of gratitude, without first being thankful, we'll never be able to recognize that fact and bring comfort to others in need.

-Scott

P.S. And please don't take this the wrong way. I don't have it all figured out, and I'm not always as gracious and generous as I should be. I'm still a work in progress... "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord. For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends."

Happy 3 Year Anniversary!

 

Click on the collage above to make it larger and see it better.

This collage has some of my favorite images from this past year of marriage.  It was fun to look back over these pictures and remember some of the fun things we have done this year.  

Mr. Van Sande, you are the most amazing husband, best friend, partner, and soul mate... I could not imagine my life without you!  Thank you for blessing my life more than I could possibly dream.  You have my whole heart, and 110% of my respect and admiration.  I can't wait to celebrate 75 more amazing years of marriage with you (because yes, we are both going to live to be 100 together!!).

How to Add "Mom" to Your Resume?

My professor brought something up in class the other night that really put into words how I've been feeling for quite awhile but couldn't articulate.  The discussion was basically about how our society teaches us mixed gender messages and then expects us to be successful in relationships.

Basically, little boys are taught how to be manly, tough, strong, and independent while little girls are taught how to be caregivers.  We tell little girls it's okay to cry and be in touch with their emotions giving them dolls and playing "house" with them, and then when they start developing into women, we tell them they must now be strong, independent and ask them about their career goals.  Does this seem messed up to you?

This results in really confused young women, not to mention the fact that if and when they do get married, if both the man and the woman are supposed to be self-reliant, successful and dedicated to their careers.... who is going to raise the kids?

Is the woman going to take care of the house, the husband, the kids, and keep adding to her resume?  How do you be the ultimate caregiver and be that strong, independent, career woman?  Our self-absorbed western society is a really complicated system.

I completely resonate with this, and I know a lot of women who can relate.  I'm speaking in blanket stereotypes for the most part here, but a large majority of women have the innate desire to plant themselves, nest, take care of their husbands and bust out a few little rug rats.  And these desires do start when we're young and playing barbies with the neighbor girls.  High schoolers today, instead of being encouraged to continue in the art of caregiving and taking care of a home and family, are asked where they are going to college and what they are going to make of themselves in terms of a career.  I don't know where or how you grew up, but in my family it was just sort of assumed that I was going to college.  It didn't really feel like a choice.  And when asked what my major was and what I "wanted to be" when I grew up, I felt like I needed to have some smart answer to impress people, because if I just said I wanted to be the best mom and wife I could be, somehow that wouldn't be good enough.  (For the record, I never did find that "smart answer" because with my set of gifts and talents I couldn't justifiably squeeze myself into the high-paying profession box but this is just the way it felt as an 18 year old ;-)).

No, I'm not having an identity crisis, and no there's nothing wrong with going to college and making a better life for yourself.  I'm just being challenged right now in the way that I look at the world and the society I live in, and I think that we need to be careful in raising this upcoming generation and projecting our "smart" ideas of what we think success is onto them.  The more advanced the world becomes, the more confusing life is getting... and I think we need to start addressing these mixed gender signals right away.

What do you think?  Can you relate to this?  What messages were you given when you were younger?  How did your family of origin shape your viewpoints on career development vs. family?

How Do We Tumble Down a Hill?

I found a document buried in the archives of my computer hard drive, and in it a quote that I originally intended to write a blog about. However, on further reflection, I think the original author already said enough. So I'll just leave it at that...

"How do we tumble down a hill? A foot placed incautiously on an unsteady rock or loosened turf, an ankle twisted or a knee buckled, and all of the sudden we are gone, our body lost to our own control until we find ourselves sprawled in indignity at the bottom.

So it seems apt indeed to speak of the Fall. For sin, too, must always start with but a single misstep, and suddenly we are hurtling toward some uncertain stopping point. All that is sure in the descent is that we will arrive sullied and bruised and unable to regain our former place without hard effort." -Anna Frith

Source: Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks

-Scott

Happy Birthday, Mom

Have you ever lost someone close to you? Sometimes I find it healing to write letters to my mom who passed away unexpectedly in 2006. Grief and loss are experienced by many, and I find it especially healing to blog about her from time to time to help in my healing process. Here's a letter that I would want to share with my mom today on her 49th birthday.

Happy Birthday, Mom.

Today you would have been 49.

I think you would be proud of our family this year.

Little baby Rachel just turned sweet 16 and got her driver's license. You wouldn't believe what an amazing young woman she's becoming mom. She has such a loving and tender spirit and she's just so grown up all of a sudden! She's going to homecoming with a bunch of her friends this weekend. I know you would have loved to curl her hair and take her dress shopping like you did for me when I was in high school. Remember when you bought me that white dress with all the glitter? Dad was upset you spent so much money on a dress for me... but I think it was worth it. I felt like such a queen that night!

Con man is in his second year down at U of A. Remember when you used to have to buy him special pants and then hem them during his "husky" years? You would never need to hem his pants again.... he is super tall and muscular now! He's made a ton of new friends down at college and is definitely Mr. Popular! He has a girlfriend named Meghan that I think you'd like a lot.

Bear is truly all grown up now. He graduated from ASU in May and got an amazing job over in San Francisco! Remember when we took that family vacation to San Fran? That was a fun trip.... it's still one of my favorite cities of all time! Anyway, Erik tried to explain to me what he does over there, but it's so fancy schmancy I can't even explain it. Something to do with stocks and managing wealthy people's money. Anyway, he has a condo over there with a roommate that he gets along with well. I can't wait to see him for Christmas. It's weird not seeing him all the time now.

Dad is doing great too. He just bought a new sports car... you know... the one he's been talking about his whole life but always felt it was irresponsible since he had so many kids to take care of? :) You wouldn't believe how much he's grown as a person over the past few years. You would be so proud of him. He's all I could ever ask for in a Dad.


And me?  I've been busy too.  Scott and I have been married almost 3 years now and I started grad school to get my Master's in Counseling this year.  Ever since I was a little girl you told me I would end up in one of the "helping professions."  You were right, as usual.  I miss singing and playing the piano for you.  I've been working on a few songs that I know you would love.  I'm becoming a better cook too.... I really wish I  would have taken you up on those cooking and sewing lessons when I had the chance!  I think you'd be proud of who I am today though... or at least a lot of people tell me you would be anyway. :)

It's hard to go through these milestones without you, and I'm sad that you're not here to experience life with us.

Love and miss you.

Happy birthday, Mom. 

If you knew my mom and would like to leave a birthday comment of something you miss or something you would want to tell her, feel free to comment below! :) I love to read memories that others have of her. You can also read the post I wrote last year on her birthday, HERE.

Buddy Christ

I somehow managed to make it all the way through public high school without ever being required to read Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury. After discussing this shocking fact with my friend Josh Johnson, he gave me a copy of it for my birthday. I finally got around to reading it (after forcing myself to take a break from Tom Clancy) recently...

In so doing, I stumbled across what I thought was a rather poignant statement that reflects on our society as much as it does Bradbury's fictional one. (SPOILER ALERT) The statement takes place when Montag, the protagonist, has met with an elderly former professor whose vast knowledge and skills have no place in a world that deemphasizes personal knowledge and wisdom. Quality education has ground to a halt and free thinking is discouraged. Books, the keepers of information and thought, are targeted as the actual source of discord within mankind. The knowledge and wisdom of one individual creates a schism between him and his fellow man who lacks the same knowledge. This rift causes disharmony and thus the book, or more accurately the thoughts and words within it, is evil as it turns man against another. The solution? Systematically hunt down and burn all books, thus destroying the knowledge they contain.

Upon locating what very well may be the last remaining copy of the Bible, (which literally means "book," by the way) Montag brings it to professor Faber. The Bible is the best selling book of all-time and in my opinion is the most important book in history. But in Montag's world, it is forgotten... just another book to be burned. Some of the teachings and the concepts within it still remain but are distorted, dumbed down, and bent to the whim of the government. For instance, Jesus Christ, the focal point of the New Testament and the Messiah the Old Testament alludes to, is still a recognizable figure. Recognizable in that Christ appears on the TV to market certain commercial products. In Montag's world, Christ, the King of Kings, is relegated to selling deodorant.

Upon seeing the Bible and reading the Scriptures again for the first time in decades, professor Faber says: "I often wonder if God recognizes His own son the way we've dressed him up, or is it dressed him down?"

Is our society in America any less guilty of "dressing down" Christ? Guilty of putting Him in a box, bending Him to fit our picture of how we think He should be? Guilty of twisting His teachings to be more palatable? Guilty of neglecting those teachings that aren't convenient? Guilty of seeking wisdom apart from that which He offers? Guilty of removing Him from a place of prominence? Guilty of trivializing who He is and what He did? Guilty of dethroning Him from being the Son of God to just another salesman peddling another philosophy? We may not be burning Bibles, but how faithful has this "Christian nation" been to its groom? Have we exchanged the truth for a lie?

Would God recognize His Son the way He appears in society today? In our homes? In our schools? In our churches? I'm sure in a lot of places He would, but I'm equally sure there are others that He would not... All I can say is that I pray and strive to make sure that if God looks at my life, at my family, at my church, He'll see someone He recognizes... He'll see His Son.

Rules for Facebook

I found this on another blog I read: http://20-nothings.blogspot.com.  Thought it was worth re-posting! I have had many of the same thoughts!

• Rules #1 - if you friend someone who, when they see your name in the subject-line of the ________ has-requested-to-be-your-friend-on-Facebook e-mail will go who is that?? - you are required to send a message with your request. Anything from, "Hey Jessie, it's been AGES, hope you're well" - if I haven't spoken to you since 3rd grade. Or, "Hey Jessie, I'm ________ a friend of _________" if I will otherwise have no idea who you are. I have been trying to think of a real-life-scenario metaphor to explain how weird this would be if you did it to someone live, but there is no comparison. Just, if you think there's a chance my reaction is going to be, "ummmm?what?" - try to prevent that with a sensible, personal touch.

• Rule #2 - If you wouldn't say it at full volume across a crowded room of everyone the person knows and cares about, don't write it on their wall. Examples include: "Did I hear you broke up with _______?" Or "Whaatt? Quitting your job next month and moving to LA??" Or "Do you remember anything about last night?" The wall is a place that everyone can see.

• Rule #3 - If you are of the level friendship/relationship/marriage where you could text whatever it is you've decided to post on their wall directly to them, please do so. I think it's wonderful that you want your baby to have an amazing first day of work. I'm (pretty) sure your baby thinks it's wonderful to. I'm just not sure why we all have to be a part of that personal display of your private love. Same goes for, "what you up to tonight dog?" We have gchat/bbm/texting for a reason.

• Rule #4 - If you look at a picture you've taken of another person and think anything less than, "this is a fair representation of this person's face and body" - don't tag them in it. That's mean.

• Rule #5 - Status update should be updates on your status: short descriptions, messages, thoughts, links or the like. 250-word paragraphs (fine, 200 if we're not counting exclamation points and emoticons), three-times a day recounting your every move are overkill. Start a blog.

• Rule #6 -"It feels like angels are dancing on my soul when you hug me" is not a group nor is "long text messages about how someone feels about me makes my day :)" - yes, the joining of a group is now "liking" and you can technically "like" the concept of those things, but - just - stop. Alex, this means you.

• Rule #7 - Any status messages or wall postings relative to a TV show that any percentage of the viewing public might not yet have seen should be avoided at all cost. I live in LA now so this is even more of a problem, but no one watches TV the night it's on anyway, so don't ruin it.

• And finally - Rule #8 - Just use your actual name as your profile name. Anything else is bizarre. Anything with hearts, stars or like shapes in it is criminal.

That's my piece (or the parts of it I'm willing to share with the Internet). What would your rules be?

Put on Christ

Let's just get this out of the way up front: The book of Romans is one of my favorite books of the Bible, if not my favorite. The Apostle Paul has a way of weaving his words into a beautiful fabric of God's grace. I love Romans because I love GRACE, but despite the fact that it is an ever-present theme throughout, Paul lays down some fat theology. And the way he does it is easy for me to relate to...

Romans 13:14 - "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires."

Paul gives the image of putting on Jesus as an article of clothing. (This is one of those instances where there can be no debate as to whether the Scripture should be interpreted figuratively or literally.) I think Paul chooses the analogy of clothes because it's something tactile that everyone can relate to because everyone wears clothes. Jesus should envelope us as our clothes do. Paul is suggesting that you should no sooner leave your house without putting on your tunic than you should leave your house without putting on Christ.

Ironically enough, I've been working at home long enough now (see: loss of regimen) that the other day I actually caught myself about to leave the house to head to the gym without a shirt. That instance aside, I don't typically leave the house without properly clothing myself so I have a socially acceptable physical appearance. But how often do I consider if my spiritual appearance is acceptable? I fear that sometimes my spiritual wardrobe is dirty, worn, and tattered. I go too long without doing my laundry and my soul needs cleansing.

But the great thing about God is that He's always available for laundry day. There's never a time when you can't go get cleaned up. God's laundromat is 24 x 7. And even better, it's FREE! The blood of Christ washes us pure as snow so we can stand before God a blameless saint. If we are clothed with Christ, there's no need to fear that we may be under-dressed for the occasion.

Going along with Paul's analogy, and without trying to sound vain or shallow, appearances do matter. It may not be the be-all and end-all, but it would be naive to suggest otherwise. The truth is, people notice clothes. If they didn't, there wouldn't be much of a fashion industry. Put a nice suit on a man and it transforms him instantly. Mark Twain said, "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. "

In light of Scripture, and to go beyond mere physical appearances, I would say instead: "Clothing oneself with Christ makes the man. Naked Christians have little or no influence on society."

"Righteous. Very Righteous."

I'm a big fan of action movies, especially ones that involve cops, feds, military or really anyone fighting against any kind of bad guys. Call it leftovers from loving cops and robbers or playing with soldiers and Indians in my childhood childhood, but whatever the reason, I love action movies. A movie that recently came to my mind was U.S. Marshals, the sequel to The Fugitive. The movie is about a man, Mark Sheridan played by Wesley Snipes, who is framed for murder and subsequently spends the whole movie trying to clear his name. (SPOILERS ahead, if you haven't seen this movie and have any intention of doing so, maybe don't read this blog) Eventually the man trying to bring him in, Chief Deputy Marshal Sam Gerard played by Tommy Lee Jones, starts to believe his innocence. At the end of the movie, ultimately a mole within the U.S. Marshals is discovered and Gerard helps clear Sheridan's name. In one of the final scenes, on the steps of a courtroom building, the District Attorney says that, "the United States Attorney's Office has decided to drop all charges." A reporter asks Sheridan, "How does it feel to be in from the cold?" After having spent all this time running away, he responds, "Righteous. Very righteous."

I used to think it an odd response... How exactly does one feel righteous? But maybe it's not so odd after all. One way to define righteousness is "free from guilt." Ultimately, that is exactly how Sheridan should have felt. Regardless of whether he committed the crime or not, until his name was cleared, he was treated as if he was guilty. But once the true criminal was brought to light, he was deemed innocent; he was finally free again, out from under the guilt of the law.

I've been reading through Romans lately and Paul talks about this concept of righteousness too. Romans 3:21-26 says: "But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it -- the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus."

Paul is using some cool words here: Righteousness... Redemption... If he had Powerpoint, one more R word for proper alliteration, and a takeaway "homework assignment" for the week, he could probably be a modern-day pastor. But take a second and think about what Paul is saying. In the same breath that he acknowledges that ALL have sinned, he says that we can have the righteousness of God. Wait, WHAT?! How can a sinner have the righteousness of God? He's saying that God's own righteousness is imputed on us as if it were our own. A sinful man, I can now claim the same moral uprightness characteristic of God Himself... And it's not because of what I've done, neither myself nor the Bible would suggest that, it is because of faith alone in Christ alone. But how?

Redemption. Jesus Christ redeemed me from the power of sin. I was bought back for a price. The price being that He took my sin and became a propitiation on my behalf. That means to satisfy the wrath of God. God had a bit of a sticky situation when it came to resolving this whole sin issue... We screwed up and we broke the relationship with God by sinning, but He loves us more than we can ever imagine and He desired so much to restore that relationship. But He is not only a loving God, but a just God, and His perfect character demanded a penalty for sin. He couldn't just write off the sins and give mankind a cosmic free lunch, for that would not be just. Instead, for a time He passed over the sins (not pardoning them) until He sent Jesus to pay that penalty. And in one fell swoop, God is both just and the justifier.

That is the beauty of the Gospel. It's both complex and simple. We can be redeemed by faith in Jesus and declared righteous before God. We didn't earn it and we didn't deserve it, even though we are all steeped in guilt. Even while we were still sinners (Rom. 5:8), Jesus reached out and gave us a way home. And how does it feel to be in from the cold? Righteous... Very righteous!

-Scott

Living Large!

God is not going to move us, change us, or mold us if we live complacently and aren't intently listening to His voice and looking for ways to make a difference.  I am so guilty of being an over-analyzer and thinking way too much into things.  I can give you a million and one reasons of why I SHOULDN'T do something before I'll ever take action.  And I just want to say right now that I'm quitting that life.  I have recently been so AWARE of what God is doing around me and through me, and who he has made me to be.  

I can be stubborn at times.  If I want something, I am really good at fighting hard to get it.  Have you ever prayed for something, and been so sure that God wants you to have something or do something just because it's really what you want??  

 There's this one door in my life that I have been trying so hard to walk through.  I exhausted myself trying to open that one door that I was SO SURE was going to lead me to what I thought I needed.  Depressed, upset, and frustrated that God wasn't helping me out and giving me answers, (it is only now that I can see the irony in this and write it like that!)  I tried a different door.

The door opened easily... smoothly... and led me down a path of so many exciting opportunities, I can't even begin to describe.  When you're on the journey that God wants for you... your path will flourish.  

Don't get frustrated when you can't hear His voice.

Sometimes, God isn't obvious in telling you what to do... but He will show you through process of elimination.

His way is the best way, and I would not and could not EVER live any other way than for His glory.

Living by the Holy Spirit is such an exciting and unexpected adventure. 

I'm learning how to live on the edge... listening, waiting, ready for God's will and ready to take action. 

I'm reading Forgotten God  by Francis Chan right now and the chapter I read this morning was about listening to the Holy Spirit's prompting in your life.  I don't have the book on me at this second to quote him but he wrote something along the lines of ... what if God called you to give everything you have to the poor?  Stop thinking about all of the reasons why he WOULDN'T EVER call you to do that for one second, and really think about that.  What would that look like for you?  Could you do that?  Could I do that?  What would our world look like if we were that selfless and that caring?  Now that is living.

Take these people for instance.  Seriously.  WHAT?!  If this isn't living large, I don't know what is.  They are selling EVERYTHING they own so they can travel the country in an RV.  Their only agenda?  To help people!  How cool is that?  Blogger Stephanie writes,

"As it stands right now, we have the American Dream – a comfortable house in a suburban neighborhood, two cars, two kids, two masters degrees, good jobs, close friends.  Yet, every night for the past two years, Tim and I stay up late and talk about how the world is hurting – how people are poor, sick, lonely, uncertain, hungry, helpless, and hopeless."

Wow.  Talk about acting on the spirit's leading!  

Now I'm not saying that this type of thing is God's will for every Christian's life and you're good for nothing if you don't sell your house and give all your money to the poor.  What I am saying, is that sometimes we do live too "safe" and don't live enough outside of our comfort zones.  Jesus was radical.  And many American churches and Christians aren't. 

Bottom line?  There is nothing better in this world than living for Him and being who He made you to be.  Living by His leading is the only way to live.

Why We Decided to Vaccinate

With the vaccine debate raging right now among bloggers all over the world... I decided it was time I put my opinion on there on why we decided to vaccinate our babies.

The biggest reason we chose to vaccinate was because by law, if your dog, cat, or domesticated ferret is not vaccinated, is not up-to-date on its vaccinations, or is not properly confined after biting someone, as the owner you are subject to a fine not to exceed $200 for each offense.  Additionally fines may apply locally as well.

And who wants to be penalized by the government?  Not me.  Especially hard-earned money that could be going towards buying more fro-yo at Yogurtini.

The Nature of Sacrifice...

As I sat in church on Sunday, I thought about the nature of tithing as I see it in the American church today. I wonder exactly how much our offerings are a fragrant aroma to God. How pleased is He really with my sacrifice to Him? Because, isn't that what the "offering" is: a sacrifice?

I think the way we give is as important as if, or how much, we give. Most church-goers have likely heard that "God loves a cheerful giver," (2 Cor. 9:7) so we already know we shouldn't give out of a sense of religious duty. We shouldn't just give because we know that we should, but because we want to and because we enjoy worshipping God with our sacrifice. So each of us makes a decision in our hearts (not making a decision is, itself, also a decision) whether or not to give and how much to give. Our tithe is our act of sacrifice to God, and our acknowledgment of, and trust in, His power to provide. I recognize that I am blessed beyond measure and I enjoy giving back to God, but I've realized that I've overlooked the significance of how I do it.

How much time do we think and pray over our offering? How much consideration goes into how it will be used? Or do we take time to thank God for what He's given us, and for the privilege of being able to give back to Him? Or do we just write the check, drop it in the plate, and forget about it? I'll bet that if when we took the plate, we stopped to pray over our offering, we'd likely get a gentle nudge from our neighbor or a discreet, "PSST!" from the usher waiting at the end of the row for holding up the show. Has our method of taking offering trained us to marginalize its significance? Has our pride created a format of giving that limits the joy that comes from giving to God by forcing it into lazy anonymity? Some churches have set up the means for their parishioners to have their tithe automatically withdrawn from their bank account on a set schedule. Sure, that makes it simpler and easier, but has our spiritual act of giving to God merely become a direct deposit?

It's somewhat unfortunate that tithing nowadays has been forced to be an almost secretive, hidden act. As we sit in our pews, the plate is passed, we slip our offering in, and pass it along accompanied by a furtive glance to the person on the receiving end, and that's it. We don't think anymore about it. This sacrificial act of worship to God is over in seconds and the only thing that has really changed are a few numbers in a bank account. But what about my heart? Was I worshipful in my giving? Did I truly make a sacrifice? (I'm speaking in generalities here based on observations from my own flawed self and what I can perceive in church, so by no means would I suggest this is the case everywhere, for everyone. But what if we're missing out on something more? And by "we," maybe I just mean myself...)

Wouldn't it be cool to physically get up out of your seat, out of being comfortable, and take your offering to the altar, sacrifice it there, and leave it to God? To take something that is yours (as much as anything can truly be yours) bring it from where you are to before your God and to say, "Here you go God, I want you to have this." I believe that there is a physical dimension to almost every spiritual act. And when you connect an emotion in your heart, a thought in your head, to a physical act of your hands and feet, you experience it in a way you couldn't otherwise. The significance of the physical action that mimics the state of your heart has power. Why else would the Bible speak of different positions you can take while praying? If laying prostrate or kneeling before God in prayer didn't have the potential of changing how you pray, why would it be worth mentioning? And it's not for attention; it's not for the benefit of anyone but yourself. Why should tithing be any different?

Don't get me wrong, I don't think tithing should be paraded in front of the church. The worst thing that could happen would be people seeking prestige or approval by showing off how they give, or others feeling judged for not giving. But when the Israelites took their sacrifices to the temple, can we be so naive as to think that the others at the temple didn't know that they were there making a sacrifice? It's hard to hide a goat in your pocket, and the act of sacrificing it isn't exactly discreet. It wasn't done in secret! There wasn't any way of concealing your offering to God, but more than that, there wasn't any need to do so!

Making a sacrifice to God isn't about clamoring for recognition, it's about humbling yourself. And what better way to humble yourself than to physically go before God, instead of waiting for Him (or the plate) to come to you, and placing your sacrifice at His feet? I'm going to start by challenging myself to change my heart about giving... to take the time to pray over my tithe, and to truly recognize the significance of my offering. What would happen in my own life and in the church if I take sacrifice more seriously? The next question is, are we as Christians, and is the church, capable of something like this? Can we do it without it being abused? Can we put aside judgment, insecurity, and pride? Can we allow each other to fully experience giving to God in a new way?

I think we can. More than that, I think we should.
-Scott


P.S. I don't mean for any of this to be accusatory or judgmental to others in any way and acknowledge that some of my observations are probably projections of my own behavior. It's not my intention to condemn the church but to merely to challenge us to take the time to examine how we give. I know all churches are different and maybe there are churches that take their offering like this... I just haven't seen it.

Heat is the Enemy of Productivity

I've been discovering (re-discovering maybe) this summer that excessive heat is the natural enemy of productivity. Take any task that you have any desire to complete, add give or take 110℉ and that task quickly becomes insurmountable. Even if you manage to somehow complete the task, your remaining energy and wherewithal to complete subsequent work diminishes rapidly. As attempts to continue working progress, this draining effect is exponential.

Extreme heat results in a peculiar condition of the mind. Any task, no matter how menial, makes you feel like you deserve a break. Merely walking outside to take out the trash warrants a cool drink and 30 minutes of watching Wipeout. This same act done in reasonable weather is hardly noticeable. Similarly, upon completion of your work, you are left with an unrealistic view of exactly the scale of your accomplishment. You can look back, put your hands on your hips with pride and exclaim, "Look at what I've done!"

What I did: Took out the garbage
What I felt like I did: Hiked a mountain with 50lb pack

What I did: Replaced brake pads on car
What I felt like I did: Conquered the Babylonian Empire

What I did: Went grocery shopping, filled up gas in car, picked up dog poop
What I felt like I did: Ran a marathon

I think you get the idea. There are exceptions to the rule though. If the task involves using water, such as washing the car, or hosing off the back patio, the negative effects of the heat are more or less neutralized by the cooling effects of beloved H2O. In general, though, heat will be the bane of your existence when it comes to trying to accomplish anything in the summer in Phoenix. I wonder if I can just put off everything that needs to be done until winter...

God's explicit revelation, faith, and post-modernism

I found a blog I had written for another blog that I wanted to expand upon here...

Awhile back, I had a short conversation with some non-believing friends of mine about the apparent existence of God... or lack thereof. One of them e-mailed us all a link to a video on YouTube called "God Only SEEMS Non-Existent!" which sparked the conversation. The video essentially takes a satirical attitude towards Christianity in relation to the fact that God doesn't explicitly (see: blatantly, obviously) reveal Himself to mankind, thus "forcing" us to believe in Him through faith.



One of my friends said that he saw no benefit to mankind from God's explicit revelation, but that instead it would just confuse us all the more. I took his statement to the next level and suggested that if God explicitly revealed himself to mankind, it would only cause men to rebel against him even MORE and actually negatively affect His mission. And this is partly why:

We live in a postmodern society in which it's okay for every individual to believe whatever they want, and nobody else can suggest to them otherwise. We are driving towards utter relativism in which there can be no absolute truth, because any statement of the sort tends to result in the response: "Well that works for you, but that's not for me." And God be with anyone who attempts to suggest that individual is "wrong." People that do that are simply "arrogant."

The fact is, people generally don't like being forced to do, or believe, things. Admittedly, I am guilty of this at times. So think about it: What would happen if God came down from the heavens, appeared in the sky before the entire earth and said, "Behold, I am God! Worship me!" I think it would cause people to rebel and disobey Him even more than they might have in their ignorance of His existence, merely because they lose their right to choose what to believe in.

Maybe that's why God gave us freewill and the opportunity to choose, because ultimately it is better for us. Maybe faith is His gift to us to help us experience Him wholly based upon our view of His character and what He has done. As my friend asked, what benefit is it to us to believe in Him because of explicit revelation? Am I more blessed through a relationship with a God I know because He desired a relationship with me, or a God I know because He forced a relationship with me?

But this demanding of signs to "prove" God is nothing new. Post-modernism, which in reality isn't all that modern anyway, isn't the only cause for this sort of doubt. People have been challenging God to show signs of who He is since Jesus walked the earth. Matthew 12:38-40 says:
³⁸Then some of the scribes and Pharisees answered him, saying, "Teacher, we wish to see a sign from you." ³⁹But he answered them, "An evil and adulterous generation seeks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. ⁴⁰For just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth." (The fact that even after Jesus was miraculously resurrected after three days, true to His statement here, the Pharisees still refused to acknowledge it, is another blog altogether. So now they received the sign they were promised and denied God anyway.)

And not so long after (Matthew 16:1-4), another group of religious "leaders" came to Jesus and ask for a sign AGAIN! This time, they are asking Jesus for a sign after he just miraculously fed 4,000 people! HELLO!? OPEN YOUR EYES! In Mark's recounting of this same event (Mark 8:11-13), it almost seems as if Jesus is exasperated with their blindness:
¹¹The Pharisees came and began to argue with him, seeking from him a sign from heaven to test him. ¹²And he sighed deeply in his spirit and said, "Why does this generation seek a sign? Truly, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation." ¹³And he left them, got into the boat again, and went to the other side."

Here are people who lived in the midst of the miracles Jesus was performing daily, and yet they still asked for God to prove Himself. How is this possible? I think the Pharisees/Sadducees/scribes cared less about Jesus legitimately proving Himself to be God, as they did about fitting Jesus/God into the prescribed box they had already created for Him. They didn't want a sign, they wanted their sign, the one that to them would mean God is who they think He should be. But you can't just fit God into a box of your own creation, and so when God didn't fit their mold, He was hidden in plain sight. That's the danger of making demands of God to do a certain thing, look a certain way, act a certain way. And yet here we are now 2,000 years later, still asking God to give us signs on Youtube...

As my friend, Josh, so astutely pointed out: "There was in fact a time when god revealed himself, did all kinds of crazy stuff like walking on water and raising the dead... and we killed him."

-Scott

SEX!

Yes... it's true. I'm writing about one of my favorite subjects ever, S-E-X. Don't worry, Scott. I'll try to keep the personal examples at bay.  And just so you all don't think I'm disrespectful to my husband, he did okay this before I posted it. ;-)  I also would like to add that I am writing about sex in regards to a married relationship between a man and a woman from a Christian perspective, and not to read any further if talking openly about sex offends you. 

The reason I am writing this is two-fold:

#1) I am realizing more and more the importance of sex in the marriage relationship.

AND

#2) I think that many could benefit by changing their viewpoints on this topic.

Having sex with your spouse is one of the best things you can do for your relationship, as sex can increase your intimacy in a way that nothing else can. I would also be as bold to say that the absence of sex or an unhealthy sexual relationship with your spouse will cause your intimacy levels to plummet drastically.

It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that if couples are frequently arguing or not getting along, it is going to affect the sexual relationship, which is going to push the couple even further apart. Likewise, I would also argue that a marriage relationship is drastically improved by having more better quality sex. Does this mean that great sex is all that a married couple needs to have a great relationship? Absolutely, not. However,  I would definitely argue that a satisfactory sexual relationship is a huge component in a happy and satisfying marriage.

So how do you have more, better sex? The way we think about sex has to do with a lot of things: our family backgrounds, the way we were raised, our culture, positive/negative personal experiences, etc. Regardless of an individual's background, there is a unifying theme. We are all sexual beings who have an innate desire to love and be loved. No matter what your background or hormone levels are, God designed sex as a gift within marriage as He knows that used in the right ways, it can create indestructible bonds between a man and a wife. We have been given a powerful tool, and we should take full advantage.

The way you think about sex has a huge impact on your relationship. Try viewing it as more of a "necessity" in your marriage just like taking the time to go on dates and have fun together as opposed to something you just "do" when the mood strikes (which for some could be not very often!)  Now, I'm not saying that if you're super full from dinner and have an intense migraine that you should just snap out of it. What I am saying, is that maybe sometimes you could give a little for the sake of bonding and intimacy, even if you don't initially feel like it.  Every married couple could benefit from having more good quality sex. Quality and quantity.

One last thing. God is a crazy genius who designed men and women very differently on purpose and in order to have more good quality sex, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. Now I'm speaking in generalities here, but:

MEN:
A large majority of men can shut off their brains and have sex with their wife anytime without giving it much thought. They just need it, want it, and there's not a lot more to it then that. Men feel more intimate and loving towards their spouse when they are fulfilled sexually.

WOMEN:
A little more complicated. Women need to feel loved and intimate with their spouse before even wanting to have sex. They need to have their heart and soul touched and want to feel connected to their husbands before even wanting to go there.

Do you see the complexity in this? How perfectly men and women fit together in God's design when it's done right? This causes men to have to be more loving and affectionate towards their wives in order to allow their wives to let go emotionally, which lets them connect sexually, which makes men feel more invigorated and fulfilled, which allows husbands and wives to be lovingly connected and intimate in an amazing way. You can also see how easily this spiral could go horribly wrong.

Now how does that affect you?  If you are a man, it means romancing your wife more.  It means buying her that $10 rose bouquet even if you think it's a waste of money.  It means telling her how beautiful she is, or how much you love her even if you think she already knows.  If you are a woman, it means being open to your husband and respecting him for who he is as a man.  It means making him feel like a man in any way you can and doing your best to appreciate him.  It means thanking him for everything he does - big things and small things.  It means making him feel that he is the king of your universe.  In treating your spouse in some of these healthy loving ways and doing the best you can to truly LOVE them, you will be more likely to experience the pattern as referenced above leading to higher quality sex more often.

No matter what your viewpoints are on this topic, there's one thing that I'm sure about: we don't talk about sex enough in a healthy way.  Satan uses it as a weapon to tear marriages apart.  Let's use it as a weapon to strengthen our marriages instead.  If you are struggling in this area, don't take it lightly.  Go see a marriage counselor or sex therapist.  At the every least, don't be afraid to be open about your issues and talk to a trusted friend or buy some Christian reading material on increasing your sexual intimacy.  Bottom line:  Sex is a big deal.  So let's be real about it.

Brianne's On-Going List of Blessings

This is a feel good post about things that fill me with joy.  This is about stopping to smell the roses.  This is about enjoying the little things in life.  This is about appreciating and loving all of God's rich blessings.  

Every once in awhile, you just need to make a happy list. 

Brianne's On-Going List of Blessings

• the color red
• puppy breath
• bubble baths
• candles
• busy coffee shops in the morning
• feeling the presence of God
• a beautiful melody
• baby's laughter
• thunderstorms
• roses and lilies
• macadamia nuts
• warm cookies
• candlelight
• worship music
• my husband
• dolphins
• new notebooks
• pianos
• kissing
• aspen trees whispering in the wind
• s'mores
• beach days
• lazy Saturday mornings
• connecting with other women
• peace, faith, and hope
• spooning
• unconditional love
• not being able to put a good book down
• slow dancing to Norah Jones
• satisfying a chocolate craving
• a good back "tickle"
• sleeping in and getting up slowly
• cinnamon rolls
• working hard and seeing results
• being overwhelmed by nature
• grilled cheese and tomato soup
• soft comfy pajamas
• laughing so hard your stomach hurts
• the smell of bread in the oven
• clean house
• looking at old photos
• a beautifully decorated Christmas tree
• scented markers
• elderly people holding hands
• inspirational quotes
• the day after your wedding
• discussing a good movie ending
• BBQ's by the pool
• feeling balanced
• the awe of a good magic trick
• dancing with children

What does your on-going list of blessings look like?

 

Here's to New Beginnings

Today I have been accepted into grad school at Ottawa University and will start classes the 4th week of August!

I have decided to get my Master of Arts in Professional Counseling and become dually licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist.

As many of you know, I have been pondering going back to school ever since I got my BA in Psychology in 2007.  After 2.5 years of soul searching and asking God what he wants to do with my life, I feel that he has finally answered my prayers and given me some direction. :)

I LOVE to learn new things, and I can't wait to get started.  I LOVE to grow, be productive, and work towards goals that excite me.  I LOVE that I will be working in a positive direction knowing that I will be working towards becoming a better person with more to offer the world and the knowledge to really be able to help people in the way that God has gifted me.  God created me to be a sensitive person with the spiritual gifts of mercy and encouragement, and I can't think of a field for who He has made me.  I can't wait to see what He is going to do with my life from here.

It is going to be a night and weekend 60ish credit program (60 credits for the MA in PC but a few more added credits/classes for the Marriage and Family concentration) through Ottawa University that will take around 3 years to complete if I don't take any breaks.

I am so excited about life and to see where God takes me from here!  Here's to new beginnings and endless possibilities!

Mom

Sometimes I just miss her.  Her laugh, her face, her voice.

I wish I could just have one last conversation with her.

I want to go out to coffee with her and tell her what I'm doing now.  I want to show her our house, tell her about my dreams, and hear her say that she's proud of me.

I want her to come worship with me at Bethany and have her meet all the people that have so tremendously impacted my life in the last couple of years.  I want to tell her about our Young Married's Group, have her meet all the amazing people I am blessed to be able to play/sing with on the worship team, and meet some of my new best friends.

I want her to meet Sadie and Sam, show her the upgrades we've made to our house, and tell her about how good my husband is to me.

I want to sing and play the piano for her and thank her for not letting me quit just because I wanted to go outside and play with my friends instead of practice.

I want to tell her that so much of who I am is because of her, and that when people tell me I look like her, I say, "Really? You think so?" and am totally flattered because I think that she is so beautiful.

It's amazing to me that 4 years can go by, and my heart would still want her this much - not the way she was when she died, but the way she was in my childhood.

I'm not mad at God anymore, but am still sad that life happened the way that it did.  Why her?  Why MY mom?  Why HER soul?  IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.  There are plenty of alcoholics that recover only to find true life and joy on the other side.  And she was one of the strongest people I know.  IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. So what happened there?  Why couldn't she be one of the ones who made a strong comeback? 

My friend Sarah wrote an amazing song that she sang in church today called "Your Love".  It's about how broken we can feel in this life sometimes, and how much we yearn for meaning and answers that just aren't always there.  Our viewpoint is so limited from where we stand, and only God knows the answers.  It's hard to have to go through life not understanding why things happen a certain way.  I can only lean on God and his love to get me through.  I want to be overwhelmed in His power and grace such that I find my peace and comfort in Him.

I don't want to ask God "why?" anymore.  I want to be content with not knowing all of the answers, and just be consumed and carried away in His love.

"Your Love" 
by Sarah Studebaker

Waiting here in this hour, broken down upon my knees right where I fell
Searching for the arms of a Love, for the eyes from above 'cause I can't see so well

Reaching through the darkness of this life, through the things that don't seem right and so out of place
Hoping in the promise of the other side, the arms of Love are open wide, the hands of Grace

Love come down, Love, I need you now


Rivers of mercy wash over me, showers of grace come down
Wrap Your arms around me and carry me away in your love, Your love

Striving for the answers I can't find in a world I can't rewind to a better day
Aching for a heart that You can fill, for the strength to do Your will, I pray


Love come down, Love, I need you now


Rivers of mercy wash over me, showers of grace come down
Wrap Your arms around me and carry me away in Your love, Your love

Thanks for sharing and healing people with your music, Sarah!:)  <3 you.

Catching Up

May Travels

Wow... so I just blinked, and May happened.  Crazy!  The first two weeks of May we spent traveling through France, Switzerland, Austria, Germany, and Italy.  Trip of a lifetime to be sure!  Through my travels, I've decided that sometime in my life I need to live in the mountains and/or live somewhere cold because my soul just longs for places that are beautiful!  I loved absorbing every second of all of the different cultures we experienced, and it was so fun to just get out of our routine and catch a glimpse of how the rest of the world lives.  We may be writing more on this later... but this is just a quick May/June catch up post for now.

Birthday Boy

We celebrated Scott's big 2-4 at the end of the month by having a Memorial Day BBQ with some of his closest friends over.  We had a blast stuffing our faces and spending time with our besties.

Celebration in Heaven

My sweet grandma (my dad's mom) passed away at the end of May as well.  She had fallen and hurt herself mid-May, and was struggling to recover.  After a few days of being in the hospital, she was transferred to hospice where she spent her final days in peace.  My family was able to go and say our goodbyes to her at this time as we knew she would not be on this Earth much longer.  It was hard to say goodbye, but we know she's in a better place now.:)  

We had some family come into town for the funeral, and Scott and I had the privilege of having my Grandma Helen come stay at our house for a few days!  It was so fun having her around and getting to spend so much quality time.  She is a yoga instructor, massage therapist, and likes to go on hikes with her grandkids!  She is also an active quiltist (is that a word?? now it is!!) and gardener!!  Coolest. Grandma. Ever.:)

She will be truly missed.

Annnnnnnnnnnd of course, today is Father's Day!  We had my family over for a BBQ and then went to As You Wish (a pottery place where you can pick out a piece of blank art work and decorate/paint/stensil/puff paint to your heart's desire!)  Juli bought us 6 ice-cream bowls and we all painted one for my Dad.  Very fun!  I wish I would have taken pictures of all of them.... but I didn't so I'll just have to wait until after it comes out of the kiln!  They all turned out great.  Anyway, I'm convinced I have the best Dad in the whole world and love that there is a whole day to celebrate how wonderful he is. :-)  Love you, Dad!!